A problem of her own conduct disturbed the young lady’s clear
conception of herself: and this was a ruffling of unfaithfulness in her
love of Beauchamp, that was betrayed to her by her forgetfulness of him
whenever she chanced to be with Seymour Austin. In Mr. Austin’s company
she recovered her forfeited repose, her poetry of life, her image of
the independent Cecilia throned above our dust of battle, gazing on
broad heaven. She carried the feeling so far that Blackburn Tuckham’s
enthusiasm for Mr. Austin gave him grace in her sight, and praise of
her father’s favourite from Mr. Austin’s mouth made him welcome to her.
The image of that grave capable head, dusty-grey about the temples, and
the darkly sanguine face of the tried man, which was that of a seasoned
warrior and inspired full trust in him, with his vivid look, his
personal distinction, his plain devotion to the country’s business, and
the domestic solitude he lived in, admired, esteemed, loved perhaps,
but unpartnered, was often her refuge and haven from tempestuous
Beauchamp. She could see in vision the pride of Seymour Austin’s mate.
It flushed her reflectively. Conquered but not claimed, Cecilia was
like the frozen earth insensibly moving round to sunshine in nature,
with one white flower in her breast as innocent a sign of strong sweet
blood as a woman may wear. She ascribed to that fair mate of Seymour
Austin’s many lofty charms of womanhood; above all, stateliness: her
especial dream of an attainable superlative beauty in women. And
supposing that lady to be accused of the fickle breaking of another
love, who walked beside him, matched with his calm heart and one with
him in counsel, would the accusation be repeated by them that beheld
her husband? might it not rather be said that she had not deviated, but
had only stepped higher? She chose no youth, no glistener, no idler: it
was her soul striving upward to air like a seed in the earth that
raised her to him: and she could say to the man once enchaining her:
Friend, by the good you taught me I was led to this!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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