“He’s a good creature-really,” Cecil spoke on his cousin’s behalf.
“Mad; he always will be mad. A dear old savage; always amuses me. He
does! I get half my entertainment from him.”
Captain Baskelett was gifted with the art, which is a fine and a
precious one, of priceless value in society, and not wanting a
benediction upon it in our elegant literature, namely, the art of
stripping his fellow-man and so posturing him as to make every movement
of the comical wretch puppet-like, constrained, stiff, and foolish. He
could present you heroical actions in that fashion; for example:
“A long-shanked trooper, bearing the name of John Thomas Drew, was
crawling along under fire of the batteries. Out pops old Nevil, tries
to get the man on his back. It won’t do. Nevil insists that it’s
exactly one of the cases that ought to be, and they remain arguing
about it like a pair of nine-pins while the Muscovites are at work with
the bowls. Very well. Let me tell you my story. It’s perfectly true, I
give you my word. So Nevil tries to horse Drew, and Drew proposes to
horse Nevil, as at school. Then Drew offers a compromise. He would much
rather have crawled on, you know, and allowed the shot to pass over his
head; but he’s a Briton, old Nevil the same; but old Nevil’s
peculiarity is that, as you are aware, he hates a compromise—won’t have
it—retro Sathanas! and Drew’s proposal to take his arm instead of being
carried pickaback disgusts old Nevil. Still it won’t do to stop where
they are, like the cocoa-nut and the pincushion of our friends, the
gipsies, on the downs: so they take arms and commence the journey home,
resembling the best of friends on the evening of a holiday in our
native clime—two steps to the right, half-a-dozen to the left,
etcætera.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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