Thus, with scarce a variation from the facts, with but a flowery
chaplet cast on a truthful narrative, as it were, Captain Baskelett
could render ludicrous that which in other quarters had obtained
honourable mention. Nevil and Drew being knocked down by the wind of a
ball near the battery, “Confound it!” cries Nevil, jumping on his feet,
“it’s because I consented to a compromise!”—a transparent piece of
fiction this, but so in harmony with the character stripped naked for
us that it is accepted. Imagine Nevil’s love-affair in such hands!
Recovering from a fever, Nevil sees a pretty French girl in a gondola,
and immediately thinks, “By jingo, I’m marriageable.” He hears she is
engaged. “By jingo, she’s marriageable too.” He goes through a sum in
addition, and the total is a couple; so he determines on a marriage.
“You can’t get it out of his head; he must be married instantly, and to
her, because she is going to marry somebody else. Sticks to her,
follows her, will have her, in spite of her father, her marquis, her
brother, aunts, cousins, religion, country, and the young woman
herself. I assure you, a perfect model of male fidelity! She is
married. He is on her track. He knows his time will come; he has only
to be handy. You see, old Nevil believes in Providence, is perfectly
sure he will one day hear it cry out, ‘Where’s Beauchamp?’—‘Here I
am!’—‘And here’s your marquise!’—‘I knew I should have her at last,’
says Nevil, calm as Mont Blanc on a reduced scale.”
The secret of Captain Baskelett’s art would seem to be to show the
automatic human creature at loggerheads with a necessity that winks at
remarkable pretensions, while condemning it perpetually to doll-like
action. You look on men from your own elevation as upon a quantity of
our little wooden images, unto whom you affix puny characteristics,
under restrictions from which they shall not escape, though they
attempt it with the enterprising vigour of an extended leg, or a pair
of raised arms, or a head awry, or a trick of jumping; and some of them
are extraordinarily addicted to these feats; but for all they do the
end is the same, for necessity rules, that exactly so, under stress of
activity must the doll Nevil, the doll Everard, or the dolliest of
dolls, fair woman, behave. The automatic creature is subject to the
laws of its construction, you perceive. It can this, it can that, but
it cannot leap out of its mechanism. One definition of the art is,
humour made easy, and that may be why Cecil Baskelett indulged in it,
and why it is popular with those whose humour consists of a readiness
to laugh.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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