_Pac._ Why thou Iron-pated Smith: and thou Woollen-witted Hose-heeler: hear what I will speak indifferently (and according to antient Writers) of our three professions: and let the upright _Lazarillo_ be both judge and moderator. _Laz._ Still am I the most immortally hungry; that may be. _Pac._ Suppose thou wilt derive thy Pedigree, like some of the old _Heroes_, (as _Hercules, Æneas, Achilles_) lineally from the gods, making _Saturn_ thy great Grandfather, and _Vulcan_ thy Father: _Vulcan_ was a god. _Laz._ He'll make _Vulcan_ your godfather by and by. _Pac._ Yet I say, _Saturn_ was a crabbed block-head, and _Vulcan_ a limping Horn-head, for _Venus_ his wife was a strumpet, and _Mars_ begot all her Children; therefore however, thy original must of necessity spring from Bastardie: further, what can be a more deject spirit in man, than to lay his hands under every ones horses feet, to do him service, as thou dost? For thee, I will be brief, thou dost botch, and not mend, thou art a hider of enormities, _viz._, Scabs, chilblains, and kib'd heels: much prone thou art to Sects, and Heresies, disturbing State, and Government; for how canst thou be a sound member in the common-wea[l]th, that art so subject to stit[c]hes in the ankles? blush, and be silent then, oh ye Mechanicks, compare no more with the politick Cobler: For Coblers (in old time) have prophesied, what may they do now then, that have every day waxed better, and better? have we not the length of every mans foot? are we not daily menders? yea, and what menders? not horse-menders. _Laz._ Nor manners-menders. _Pach._ But soul-menders: Oh divine Coblers; do we not, like the wise man, spin out our own threads, (or our wives for us?) do we not by our sowing the Hide, reap the Beef? are not we of the Gentle-craft, whilst both you are but Crafts-men; You will say, you fear neither Iron nor Steel, and what you get is wrought out of the fire; I must answer you again, though, all this is but forgery: You may likewise say, a man's a man, that has but a hose on his head: I must likewise answer, that man is a botcher, that has a heel'd hose on his head: to conclude, there can be no comparison with the Cobler, who is all in all in the Common-wealth, has his politique eye and ends on every mans steps that walks, and whose course shall be lasting to the worlds end. _Met._ I give place: the wit of man is wonderful: thou hast hit the nail on the head, and I will give thee six pots for't, though I ne'r clinch shooe again. _Enter_ Vitelli _and_ Alguazier. _Pac._ Who's this? oh our _Alguazier_: as arrant a knave as e'er wore one head under two offices: he is one side _Alguazier_. _Met._ The other side Serjeant. _Mend._ That's both sides carrion I am sure.