England -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Farms -- Fiction; Older men -- Fiction
The last crowd of all had been Marget’s cottage crowd, where there
had been no room for him and little breath, but now he was coming
back from it as he had come from all the rest, from press and
clamour and hurry into unpeopled peace. He had escaped on to the
edge of the sand, where always the hunted stag turns to safety and
the sea. Now he could look along the flat which rested the eye, and
breathe the far-travelled air which only the west wind had breathed
before. There were evening and sun and shadows, and fields, and
deep-rooted mountains, and slow beasts. There was a breeze stirring
the shore-grasses that in all their lives never know what it is to be
really still, and on the top of the bank others quivered and bent,
and straightened and bent and quivered again. Bending, they looked
like delicate strokes of a slanting pen, slashed on the golden page
of the open west. The railway arches over the sand looked like great
black doors shut between him and the coloured park that lay behind.
Only the one through which they had come stood open wide, showing
the ribbon of road laid flatly through. Beyond, where it fled away
from the open marsh, it coiled into shadow by wall and stooping tree.
When night came, that door, too, would close, so that Marget, however
she tried, could never pass. He would remember that when he went
upstairs to bed, and sleep steadily unafraid in the house at the
sand’s edge. If the moon chose to look in, he would not care for the
moon. It would have none of the terror of Marget’s peering eye, that
had sometimes awakened him as he lay and dreamed.
Yes, he was coming back as he had come before, and not even in dreams
would he come like this again. Into this last, long, beautiful
journey he had gathered his life, and men—old men—were not allowed
to do that twice. Now in the house on the edge of the sands he would
stay quietly until he died. Thomas and Agnes would want to take him
out—to market and church and Milthrop Cattle Fair, but however they
urged he did not mean to go. He had the fairs and the rest of them in
his mind, and did not need to go looking for them afield. Besides,
if he went, he would only find them strange, a confusion of strange
faces and still stranger backs. Thomas and Agnes would fret and think
he was getting moped, but after a bit they would let him have his
way. He would watch them trundle away and wave his stick, and they
would stop and call to know if he had changed his mind. But he would
never change his mind or leave his recovered inheritance for an hour.
Somewhere there was a point where the mind never changed again, but
stayed as still as the earth in a new-dropped wind. And the point
where he would stay in that poised stillness would surely be the home
of all his dreams.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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