England -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Farms -- Fiction; Older men -- Fiction
Yet somehow he must gather his treasure again, if only between the
limits of a year. He must wait for the hoar-frost over the fields
and the yellow of winter sun through a black-limbed beech. There
were growing things, too, that he must see again—daffodils, foals,
and the plums on the south wall. The purple of Michaelmas daisies in
a mist, light on a yacht’s sails and the mysterious glimmer of hard
ice. Sea-mist that was the ghost of the sea, with the blue-topped
mountains rocks in a snowy surf; primrose evening over the sands and
the islands of desire. The smell of things, too—warm hay, wet earth,
and salt, lilac, syringa, the chill smell of coming snow. The feel of
things—turf and sand ... and, rough to the elbows, the stone of the
garden wall. The sound of things—bees in the wallflower; plover and
gull; the lone owl wheeling round the barn; the roar of the river in
flood and the swish of a little tide; the trains in the night where
they hung above the sea. And always there were the sounds about the
house—the separate voices of door and window and stair, of furniture
that never speaks until it is night, of winds in the house that go
not in or out, but sleep in dark corners until they stir again....
Perhaps the losing of well-known sounds was the loneliest loss of
all, and none so lonely and blank as the loss of a well-known step.
Then there were other sounds, as familiar as a voice, that yet in
years and years were never traced....
There were doors he wanted to open again, suddenly and alone, and,
standing on the threshold, feel all that the empty room contained.
That sudden opening of a door was one of the beautiful happenings of
life. Even outside you heard the memories speak, creeping through
chinks and slipping along the floor. Outside, they seemed to catch
you by the throat; but, once the knob was turned, they kissed your
cheek. Folks such as he could go blindfold to their homes, and
know where they were as soon as they stepped inside. They knew by
the feel and smell and sound of things, and by a warm, familiar
presence in the air. That was really why he was going home—to open
the doors again, and stand, and feel. Afterwards he would go round
and handle things ... absorbing them tranquilly, drawing the place
in. Satisfied—that was the word he wanted for it all; satisfied,
fulfilled ... at rest ... _come back_....
It was surely this great content that helped men to die when it
came to the last. After all, it only meant going a little closer to
one’s earth. No one need mind if he wasn’t carried away and laid in
some foreign spot he had never seen. It wouldn’t seem right to see
strange names round you when you awoke, and strange folk rising up
at the sound of the Trump. Why, there were some he knew who would be
so put about, they would likely never stir their coffin-lids! They’d
stick in their graves and say they hadn’t heard, before they’d go
cheek-by-jowl with off-comers to the Throne.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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