England -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Farms -- Fiction; Older men -- Fiction
He hurried between the box borders along the path, and all the sweet
scents of the garden came to him, and the homely, well-known odours
of the farm. There was lavender somewhere, wallflower, mignonette;
sweet briar, faint salt from the far sea, and the scent of the ready
grass asking for the scythe. Now he was close to the whitewashed
porch, with its stone seats and its arch of rose, and the little
beds at its feet that were full of snowdrops in the spring. Then
he was inside the porch, in the stream of gold that went swimming
through the door, and felt himself shabby and poor in the purity of
the light. He was like a threadbare tramp, he thought to himself,
being carried up to Heaven in a chariot of fire.... The kitchen
seemed dim and narrow to him after the open marsh, or else his eyes
were weakened by weariness and sun. Nothing came out or spoke to him
as he stood, waiting for the first tremendous swelling of joy. In the
old days the peace of the house had been so free that it had never
hidden itself until he was inside. It had come out to meet him before
he reached the porch, like a child that runs to a father coming home.
To-night the kitchen was empty and very quiet, but it was an aloof
stillness, self-absorbed ... detached. The voice of the grandfather’s
clock in the silence spoke as if speaking only to itself. He, too,
now that he was under the roof, felt curiously detached. Only half of
him, he felt, was in the house; the other—the dreaming half—was left
outside. But still he hoped and stood, waiting for the uprising of
his heart, and Thomas, respectfully sympathetic, waited too. Perhaps
it was because of Thomas that the magic would not work. Suddenly he
began to feel self-conscious under his son’s eyes, and the fear that
was fear of a fear came drifting back. Shrinking, he took a hasty
plunge through the kitchen door, and caught his foot on a flag as he
went in.
Thomas, following, found him just inside, puzzling and staring
worriedly at the floor. “Summat catched my foot,” he was saying
repeatedly with a pained surprise. He bent down to the flag as if
wishing to test it with his hand as well as his feet. “I never mind
catching my foot afore,” he said. It was just as if he couldn’t
believe he had done the thing, as if his boots had been bound to know
the flag—the same old boots—all patched—that he had been wearing
when he left. But he and the boots had forgotten because they were
old, and the flag had forgotten the memory of his tread. It did not
do to fret about these things, because perhaps they always happened
to folks who went away. Marget, at least, would have told him so, he
knew. Nevertheless, the trivial little mischance weighed upon his
mind. It was like some base betrayal on the part of ancient friends.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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