England -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Farms -- Fiction; Older men -- Fiction
Bob thought gloomily of the bearing with things which he had brought
upon himself, and of the wife that was neither a good lass nor kind,
but at the same time some remnant of feeling ranged him on Marget’s
side. He, too, couldn’t help feeling sore because the old man was
going away. He was not jealous as she was jealous, because her bone
was being touched, but it hurt him that others should do for his
father what he wanted to do himself. It was his place to be at the
farm and to give his father a home, and, Marget apart, it would have
been his pleasure as well. But both duty and pleasure were in this
case out of reach, and it was his younger brother who had the right,
as well as the place and the brass and the luck of a kindly wife. The
last humiliation was that he should be here, driving the old man to
the home that he preferred. Thomas had offered to fetch his father
himself, but Bob’s pride had suddenly flickered, and he had refused.
Now, however, he cursed himself for not letting Thomas have his way,
because it seemed that he came with his failure in his hand—with
a tacit admission that he had nothing to give. He wondered if Kit
thought of it like that, and felt the slow blood rise and burn his
cheek.
He tried to comfort himself with the thought that things would be
easier at home, now that the burden and bugbear had gone away. Of
course, they would miss the money to some extent, but there would be
one mouth less to feed, as well as more room in the kitchen and less
friction—perhaps—at meals. Marget would have no more tales to tell
him at night of the bother his father had given her in the day. He
would not have to lie in the dark and listen to his crimes—how he had
torn his jacket or got lost, or sniffed at his pudding or broken a
chair. He would not hear her beating the old man with her tongue, in
default of the blows that she dealt her weaker prey. And at least he
would be free of the dread that tragedy might be the end—some sudden
violence, perhaps, or the river under the trees. He could sleep now
without hearing the old man’s cough; it would be somebody else’s
job to see to that. He could go to work unhaunted by the old man’s
boots, gaping and sagging and leaking in the wet. Thomas would see
to the boots and Agnes to the cough, and to other little things like
socks and shirts. Kit would be housed and fed as he had not been for
years, and he could play his fiddle again on his old marsh. Bob knew
what that special deprivation must have meant; he was true enough
son of Kit to guess at that. Things seemed to be looking up for them
all round, and he knew he ought to be glad if he couldn’t be proud.
At least the burden was off the failure’s back, which had more than
enough to carry, as it was. But all that he really felt was jealous
shame, and a hope that Thomas, too, might somehow fail.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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