Beggars on HorsebackJesse, F. Tennyson (Fryniwyd Tennyson)
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Beggars on Horseback
Jesse, F. Tennyson (Fryniwyd Tennyson)
Fiction; Short stories, English
"I'm Manuel's wife," said Senath, "and et's Manuel's cheild."
Sam calmed down, for he was now sure that his wife was light-headed. It
was a common symptom, he had been told.
"No," said Senath, answering his thought, "I'm not that wisht, Sam. I'm
in my right mind, and I'm only waiten on you to go. I'm waiten to go,
Sam, I'm waiten to go."
"What do you mean, lass?"
"I'm waiten till I've told 'ee why I wedded you, Sam. It was because of
Manuel."
She lay still a moment and then went on:
"Of course I had et in my thoughts to die a maid and go to him as he
left me. A woman allus thinks that to begin with. And then et began to
come clear to me--all the future. How I'd go on getting older and more
withered and wi' nawthen to show for my life. And when I saw Manuel
agan, he'd say: 'Where's the woman I loved? Where's her blue eyes, and
the fine breast of her?' And I'd have to say: 'Wasted, gone, dried-up,
Manuel.' I wanted him. I wanted Manuel as I never thought a woman could
want anything but peace, and he was taken from me. So I determined in my
heart I'd go to Manuel, and go with somethen to take to en. I married
you, Sam, because you had the same name, and was the same height, and
when I shut my eyes, I could fancy my head was on his breast, and that
et was his heart beaten at my ear. That's why I made folk call me 'Mrs.
Harvey': so I could force myself to think et was Manuel Harvey's wife I
was. That's why I used to look at your name painted up, ef et was but on
the tailboard of a cart. I used to hide the front of et, so that I could
pictur' 'Manuel' written under my hand. Sometimes I'd pictur' et so hard
and fierce that when I took my hand away, I expected to see er there,
and the sight of 'Samuel' was like a blow. I got to knaw that, and to
look away before I took my hand off."
Again she stopped and lay awhile as though gathering energy; then the
indomitable voice went on:
"At first, when you took me in your arms, et was near to turning me mad,
and I thought I couldn't go on wi' et; but I got better and better at
imagining et was Manuel, though et was like to kill me every time I woke
up. For et was like waking up every time I had to let the strain of my
imagining go for a moment. And each time et left me feelen weaker and
more kind of wisht than before. But I was glad of that, for et all
brought me nearer. When you wedded me, I swear I'd got so I made et
Manuel, and not you, who was holding me, and for nine months I've borne
his cheild beneath my broken heart. I've made et his."
She drew the little sentient bundle nearer to her, as though to defend
it from him. He stared at her, then spoke slackly, trying to urge force
into his voice.
"'Tes all nawthen but in your mind, all that. It's what's real as
matters."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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