Now 'tis Pity that such an Excellent Piece should not be dignify'd with a particular Name; and seeing it cannot justly be called, either _Epic_, _Sapphic_, _Lyric_, or _Pindaric_, nor any other Name yet invented, I presume it may, (in Honour and Remembrance of the Dead) be called the KITELIC. Thus much in the Praise of _Kitelic Poetry_. It is certain, that those Elegies which are of our own Growth, (and our Soil seldom produces any other sort of Poetry) are by far the greatest part, wretchedly Dull and Ridiculous. Now since it is imagin'd by many, that our Poets are honest, well-meaning Fellows, who do their best, and that if they had but some Instructions how to govern Fancy with Judgment, they would make indifferent good Elegies; I shall here subjoin a Receipt for that purpose, which was left me as a Legacy, (among other valuable Rarities) by my Reverend Husband. It is as follows, A RECEIPT _to make_ a New-England Funeral ELEGY. For the Title of your Elegy. _Of these you may have enough ready made to your Hands, but if you should chuse to make it your self, you must be sure not to omit the words_ Ætatis Suæ, _which will Beautify it exceedingly._ For the Subject of your Elegy. _Take one of your Neighbours who has lately departed this Life; it is no great matter at what Age the Party dy'd, but it will be best if he went away suddenly, being_ Kill'd, Drown'd, _or_ Frose to Death. _Having chose the Person, take all his Virtues, Excellencies, &c. and if he have not enough, you may borrow some to make up a sufficient Quantity: To these add his last Words, dying Expressions, &c. if they are to be had; mix all these together, and be sure you strain them well. Then season all with a Handful or two of Melancholly Expressions, such as_, Dreadful, Deadly, cruel cold Death, unhappy Fate, weeping Eyes, &c. _Have mixed all these Ingredients well, put them into the empty Scull of some_ young Harvard; (_but in Case you have ne'er a One at Hand, you may use your own_,) _there let them Ferment for the Space of a Fortnight, and by that Time they will be incorporated into a Body, which take out, and having prepared a sufficient Quantity of double Rhimes, such as_ Power, Flower; Quiver, Shiver; Grieve us, Leave us; tell you, excel you; Expeditions, Physicians; Fatigue him, Intrigue him; &c. _you must spread all upon Paper, and if you can procure a Scrap of Latin to put at the End, it will garnish it mightily, then having affixed your Name at the Bottom, with a_ Mœstus Composuit, _you will have an Excellent Elegy._ N. B. _This Receipt will serve when a Female is the Subject of your Elegy, provided you borrow a greater Quantity of Virtues, Excellencies, &c._ SIR, _Your Servant,_ SILENCE DOGOOD.