But after all it must be consider'd, that no Pleasure can give Satisfaction or prove advantageous to a _reasonable Mind_, which is not attended with the _Restraints of Reason_. Enjoyment is not to be found by Excess in any sensual Gratification; but on the contrary, the immoderate Cravings of the Voluptuary, are always succeeded with Loathing and a palled Apetite. What Pleasure can the Drunkard have in the Reflection, that, while in his Cups, he retain'd only the Shape of a Man, and acted the Part of a Beast; or that from reasonable Discourse a few Minutes before, he descended to Impertinence and Nonsense? I cannot pretend to account for the different Effects of Liquor on Persons of different Dispositions, who are guilty of Excess in the Use of it. 'Tis strange to see Men of a regular Conversation become rakish and profane when intoxicated with Drink, and yet more surprizing to observe, that some who appear to be the most profligate Wretches when sober, become mighty religious in their Cups, and will then, and at no other Time address their Maker, but when they are destitute of Reason, and actually affronting him. Some shrink in the Wetting, and others swell to such an unusual Bulk in their Imaginations, that they can in an Instant understand all Arts and Sciences, by the liberal Education of a little vivyfying _Punch_, or a sufficient Quantity of other exhilerating Liquor. And as the Effects of Liquor are various, so are the Characters given to its Devourers. It argues some Shame in the Drunkards themselves, in that they have invented numberless Words and Phrases to cover their Folly, whose proper Significations are harmless, or have no Signification at all. They are seldom known to be _drunk_, tho they are very often _boozey_, _cogey_, _tipsey_, _fox'd_, _merry_, _mellow_, _fuddl'd_, _groatable_, _Confoundedly cut_, _See two Moons_, are _Among the Philistines_, _In a very good Humour_, _See the Sun_, or, _The Sun has shone upon them_; they _Clip the King's English_, are _Almost froze_, _Feavourish_, _In their Altitudes_, _Pretty well enter'd_, &c.[18] In short, every Day produces some new Word or Phrase which might be added to the Vocabulary of the _Tiplers_: But I have chose to mention these few, because if at any Time a Man of Sobriety and Temperance happens to _cut himself confoundedly_, or is _almoss froze_, or _feavourish_, or accidentally _sees the Sun_, &c. he may escape the Imputation of being _drunk_, when his Misfortune comes to be related. _I am_ SIR, _Your Humble Servant,_ SILENCE DOGOOD. EDITORIAL PREFACE TO THE NEW ENGLAND COURANT (_From Monday, February 4, to Monday, February 11, 1723_)