I went home that night altogether an altered man, and rose next
morning from a sleepless bed, absorbed with the one idea which had
worked so miraculous a change within me. All that day, almost without
intermission, did I pace up and down the street in the hope of seeing
her; but in vain. Not once did she approach the window; and I did not
deem it prudent to question one of the servants who came out of the
house several times during the day. I betook myself, therefore, towards
evening to a green-grocer's shop in the neighbourhood; and the purchase
of some fruit gave me a privilege to indulge in a little chat with the
good old woman who conducted the business. I affected to be chiefly
solicitous respecting the elderly lady, whom I had seen by chance, and
believed to be a friend of my father, but whose name I could not, for
the life of me, remember. The old woman smiled at my shallow artifice,
but proceeded to inform me that the elderly lady was the widow of an
officer who had been killed in the Peninsular War, leaving an only
daughter, at that period an infant. I begged pardon--the name? did she
know the daughter's name?
"Oh yes! it was Isabella Denham."
It was an era in my life, the first sound of that name. I thanked my
kind informant, and withdrew.
I need not tell how unremittingly, and for how many weeks, I paced up
and down that street, with various success; how regularly I attended the
church she frequented; and how at length I obtained an introduction to
the family.
I found Isabella Denham more captivating than the accumulated fancies
and self-willed convictions of months had pictured her to me. It is
no unusual result in such cases; but whether it be that the object
transcends the imagination, or that the imagination subserves the
object, I know not. It was so, however; for feeling upon these occasions
takes the place of reason, which is an impertinence.
Let me be just. I think, had I loved Isabella Denham less, I should
equally have admired her. She had a mind and a heart; she was
accomplished; she was beautiful, gentle, and good; and she loved me.
Yes, she loved me. I believed it then, and I am certain of it now. How I
loved her, she never knew: that was for Time to show, and he has shown
it.
I offered her my hand in due time, and was accepted. How I despised the
sneers and banter of some of my friends who could not conceive the idea
of a marriage with fortune on one side, and none on the other, and yet
were endeavouring at the same time to effect an engagement of a similar
nature in their own favour! How I disregarded the gratuitous advice of
sundry of my officious relatives, who thought that all love had died
when their own gave up the ghost, and who sometimes prophesied truly
because they were always prognosticating evil!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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