It might as well have lighted on a feather-bed.--His air of
imperturbable unconsciousness defied examination; and as he would not,
and Flora could not, expound, that injured individual was compelled
to pocket up her wrongs. Others of the household soon dropped in, and
clustered round the board dedicated to the most sociable of meals;
the urn was paraded "hissing hot," and the cups which "cheer, but not
inebriate," steamed redolent of hyson and pekoe; muffins and marmalade,
newspapers and Finnon haddies, left little room for observation on
the character of Charles's warlike "turn-out." At length a look from
Caroline, followed by a smile that nearly ripened to a titter, caused
him to turn abruptly and address his neighbour. It was Miss Simpkinson,
who, deeply engaged in sipping her tea and turning over her album,
seemed, like a female Chrononotonthologos, "immersed in congibundity
of cogitation." An interrogatory on the subject of her studies drew
from her the confession that she was at that moment employed in putting
the finishing touches to a poem inspired by the romantic shades of
Bolsover. The entreaties of the company were of course urgent. Mr.
Peters, who "liked verses," was especially persevering, and Sappho at
length compliant. After a preparatory hem! and a glance at the mirror
to ascertain that her look was sufficiently sentimental, the poetess
began:--
"There is a calm, a holy feeling,
Vulgar minds can never know,
O'er the bosom softly stealing,--
Chasten'd grief, delicious woe!
Oh! how sweet at eve regaining
Yon lone tower's sequester'd shade--
Sadly mute and uncomplaining----"
--Yow!--yeough!--yeough!--yow!--yow! yelled a hapless sufferer from
beneath the table.--It was an unlucky hour for quadrupeds; and if "every
dog will have his day," he could not have selected a more unpropitious
one than this. Mrs. Ogleton, too, had a pet,--a favourite pug,--whose
squab figure, black muzzle, and tortuosity of tail, that curled like a
head of celery in a salad-bowl, bespoke his Dutch extraction. Yow! yow!
yow! continued the brute,--a chorus in which Flo instantly joined.
Sooth to say, pug had more reason to express his dissatisfaction than
was given him by the muse of Simpkinson; the other only barked for
company. Scarcely had the poetess got through her first stanza, when
Tom Ingoldsby, in the enthusiasm of the moment, became so lost to the
material world, that, in his abstraction, he unwarily laid his hand on
the cock of the urn. Quivering with emotion, he gave it such an unlucky
twist, that the full stream of its scalding contents descended on the
gingerbread hide of the unlucky Cupid. The confusion was complete; the
whole economy of the table disarranged; the company broke up in most
admired disorder; and "vulgar minds will never know" anything more of
Miss Simpkinson's ode till they peruse it in some forthcoming annual.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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