"WIDE AWAKE!" said the president, hitting the table three sonorous clinks with the club-hummer of brass, again. "When I got back to the office, Snaps called for me through the pipe to come up stairs:--he always had me as a witness when he was _doing particular business_, such as discounting a bill, bargaining for a bond, or arranging an annuity. "'Sort those papers,' said Snaps, scratching his left ear. "That means 'Cock your listeners,' thought I; and I proceeded to fumble over a bundle of old abstracts as diligently as if I was hunting for a hundred-pound note. "As I turned over the dusty papers, I overheard the following conversation: "'So you can't manage it for me any way?' said M'Flummery to Snaps. "'I have not anything at my bankers',' answered Snaps,--(a lie, for his was the best account of any professional man at Brookes and Dixon's, and I had that morning paid in five hundred and eighty pounds eleven and tenpence;)--'and, by the bye, Pounce, my confidential man, knows that. Have I, Pounce?' "'Not anything,' said I; 'I'll be on my oath!' "With that M'Flummery said, 'It's cursed hard.--I must be at Newmarket on Tuesday, and nothing less than two thousand will do for me.--So you cannot get it on my bond or note?' "'Money is money, and holders are firm,' said Snaps. 'What do you think of a mortgage? You gave, if I recollect right, six thousand for the hunting-lodge and the acres in Leicestershire.' "'Yes!' replied M'Flummery, 'and lost it six months since in one morning, at Graham's.' "'The house in Park Lane?' "'Belongs to Miss V. the rich old maid.' "'The furniture?' "'Is Gillow's.' "'Your stud?' "'I stalled at Tattersall's for six hundred advance.' "'Your commission?' "'Is pounded at Greenwood's for ditto.' "'Then, in point of fact,' said Snaps, 'Mister,'--(whenever Snaps intended to say anything uncivil, he always addressed the favoured individual as 'Mr.')--'in point of fact, Mr. M'Flummery, you are a beggar, possessing neither house, land, goods, or chattels, or property of any sort, kind, or description.' "M'Flummery bit his lips, and walked to the window, and Snaps continued, "'How, after making the avowals you have, Mr. M'Flummery, you could have the impudence----' "'What do you say, wretch?' cried M'Flummery, rushing and collaring Snaps, 'Impudence!' "'Pounce,' cried my master, 'an assault! Call the copying-clerks up.' But while I was in the act of summoning the scribes down the pipe, M'Flummery relaxed his hold, and said, "'I forgive you, Snaps! It certainly did warrant the term, after my declarations of insolvency; but it just flashes across my mind,--how it could have escaped me I know not,--that all is not so bad with me. I have a chest of plate!' "'A chest of plate!' ejaculated Snaps. 'Why, my dear sir,----' "'A plate-chest!' said I.