"Lord-a-mercy! what has happened?" replied his affrighted lady.
"It is not what has happened, madam," replied the regenerated
free-born Briton; "it is what shall happen. By gums!--(he was already
beginning to be somewhat puritanical and sanctified; the day before,
nay, a few moments previous to Carrydot's entrance, he would have
sworn by G--, like any duke or marquis,)--by gums! this here proud
big-wig aristocracy must be brought down; nothing can save poor
England but the abolition of this insolent peerage, these hereditary
law-makers from father to son. I say, no peers! no bishops! no lords!
a yearly parliament! universal sufferance!--(it is presumed he meant
suffrage,)--vote by ballot! Throw up your pew, Mrs. Cannon! kick the
tax-gatherer down stairs! I'll kick the fat gold-laced beadle myself!
and tell Parson Muzzle that he's a humbug and a leech!"
Mrs. Cannon, and all the Cannons, great-guns and small-arms, were
terrified, and fancied the worthy man was out of his senses. She
proposed to send for Mr. Hiccup.
"Hiccup be d--d! Do you think, woman, that Hiccup would condescend to
come to you and me were we kicking in fits, dying with the pip, or had
swallowed a mutton-chop the wrong way? Hiccup is with his lordship,
with the Most noble, the Right honourable the Earl of Wittington, the
Right honourable the Lady Tabby Catson! If their noble fingers ached,
'twould be in the Gazette, so it would. If they got a surfeit from
cramming turtle down their noble throats, it would be in the papers!
Hiccup! the rascal! the Tory pill-gilder! wouldn't give a commoner, an
independent citizen, or an honest pauper, second-hand physic if a lord
wanted him! No, not to save a fellow Christian's life!"
All this was inexplicable to the open-mouthed and alarmed family, when
a sudden burst of tears followed this violent paroxysm; and the Cannon
circle, drawing round their chief with becoming uneasiness, were soon
made _au fait_ to the full extent of the fresh indignities offered
their name and fame.
What was to be done? To remain at Wick-Hall after such an insult would
have been the height of degradation; to keep possession of it at the
expense of conscience by voting for Mr. Eelback, an abnegation of a
freeman's independence. All was doubt; and the thoughts of the Cannon
family were, to use the words of Otway,
"Like birds, that, frighted from their rest,
Around the place where all was hush'd before,
Flutter, and hardly flutter, and hardly settle anywhere,"
when another nerve-upsetting rapping at the hall once more interrupted
the busy circle. Mr. and Mrs. Grits were announced.
"Who is Mr. Grits?" exclaimed Mrs. Cannon.
The question was answered by Mrs. Grits in person; and in her, to
her utter horror, Mrs. Cannon recognised the daughter of Mr. Suet, a
carcase butcher, who had lived near them when Mr. C. was in the tallow
line.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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