"I forbid you," murmured her husband, "to re-enter this room."
I kissed my sister, lobbed a novel on to my brother-in-law's back, and
withdrew before he had time to retaliate. Then I stepped barefoot
downstairs, to perform my mission.
With the collapse of the excitement, Nobby's suspicion shrank into
curiosity, his muscles relaxed, and he stopped quivering. So infectious
a thing is perturbation.
The door of the library was ajar, and the thin strip of light which
issued was enough to guide me across the hall. The parquet was cold to
the touch, and I began to regret that I had not returned for my
slippers.
As I pushed the door open--
"I say, Jonah," I said, "that fool Berry----"
It was with something of a shock that I found myself looking directly
along the barrel of a .45 automatic pistol, which a stout gentleman,
wearing a green mask, white kid gloves, and immaculate evening-dress,
was pointing immediately at my nose.
"There now," he purred. "I was going to say, 'Hands up.' Just like that.
'Hands up.' It's so romantic. But I hadn't expected the dog. Suppose you
put your right hand up."
I shook my head.
"I want that for my cigarette," I said.
For a moment we stood looking at one another. Then my fat _vis-a-vis_
began to shake with laughter.
"You know," he gurgled, "this is most irregular. It's enough to make
Jack Sheppard turn in his grave. It is really. However.... As an
inveterate smoker, I feel for you. So we'll have a compromise." He
nodded towards an armchair which stood by the window. "You go and sit
down in that extremely comfortable armchair--sit well back--and we won't
say any more about the hands."
As he spoke, he stepped forward. Nobby received him with a venomous
growl, and to my amazement the fellow immediately caressed him.
"Dogs always take to me," he added. "I'm sure I don't know why, but it's
a great help."
To my mortification, the Sealyham proved to be no exception to the rule.
I could feel his tail going.
As in a dream, I crossed to the chair and sat down. As I moved, the
pistol moved also.
"I hate pointing this thing at you," said the late speaker. "It's so
suggestive. If you'd care to give me your word, you know.... Between
gentlemen...."
"I make no promises," I snapped.
The other sighed.
"Perhaps you're right," he said. "Lean well back, please.... That's
better."
The consummate impudence of the rogue intensified the atmosphere of
unreality, which was most distracting. Doggedly my bewildered brain was
labouring in the midst of a litter of fiction, which had suddenly
changed into truth. The impossible had come to pass. The cracksman of
the novel had come to life, and I was reluctantly witnessing, in
comparative comfort and at my own expense, an actual exhibition of
felony enriched with all the spices which the cupboard of Sensation
contains.
The monstrous audacity of the proceedings, and the business-like way in
which they were conducted, were almost stupefying.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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