It was a quarter to one when Berry's antagonist rose again to his feet.
Shortly he opened his case. Nothing, he said, was more difficult to
prove than a negative. But for one thing, it might have gone hard with
an innocent man. Everything looked very black, but, as luck would have
it, most fortunately for himself, Mr. Bladder could prove incontestably
that upon the twenty-second of May his car never left its garage, for
the very good reason that its engine was down. "I shall call the
defendant, and I shall call before you his chauffeur. Both will tell you
in detail that the dismantling of the engine was commenced at ten in the
morning, and that by half-past twelve--a few minutes before the actual
time of the accident--the operation was completed." That the plaintiff
had suffered an injury he did not attempt to deny. As a fellow-motorist,
he had Mr. Bladder's whole-hearted sympathy. His annoyance was
justified, but he could not expect Mr. Bladder to pay the penalty for
somebody else's misdeeds. He had no doubt that the witnesses honestly
believed that they had correctly memorized the letters and figures upon
the number-plate. It was his duty to satisfy the Court that they were
mistaken....
As he sat down, I realized that it was not going to be a walk-over.
Mr. Douglas Bladder made a masterly witness. I have rarely seen a more
accomplished liar. His regret was infinite. With horrified hands he
deplored what he referred to as "the shocking affair." He thundered
unsought denunciation of "the dastardly conduct of some fugitive cur."
As a motorist, he "so well understood our feelings." But--at length and
with a wealth of detail he described how he and his chauffeur had spent
the twenty-second of May. With the exception of an hour for lunch, they
had worked on the car in the garage from ten o'clock until five. "It
seemed a shame," concluded the witness, "to waste such a beautiful day,
but I had earmarked the twenty-second for the job, so we went through
with it."
A most dangerous thing in the hands of any witness, detail is seldom
employed by the dishonest. It is not difficult safely to embroider a
lie, but it apparently requires more thought, patience, and rehearsal
than ninety-nine rogues out of a hundred are prepared to spend. It soon
became unpleasantly clear that Mr. Bladder was the hundredth knave, and
that in return for his labour he had a story to tell which was as
excellent an imitation of the truth as you might reasonably expect to
hear in six whole months of Sundays.
I began to feel extremely uneasy.
To make matters worse, he came through his cross-examination untouched.
For every question put to him he had a good natural answer, and, when he
stepped down from the box and the Court rose at five-and-twenty minutes
past one, it was with something of a shock that I found myself wondering
whether by any possible chance a mistake had been made, and we were
pursuing an innocent man.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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