"No, indeed!" said Hugh, "I bow most sincerely before the rights of
society. I only claim that as long as I do not interfere with other
people, they will not interfere with me. I recognise to the full the
duty of men to work, but when I have complied with that, I want to
approach the world in my own way. I am aware that reason tells me I am
one of a vast class, and that I have certain limitations, but at the
same time instinct tells me that I am sternly and severely isolated.
No one and nothing can intrude into my mind and self; and I feel
inclined to answer you like Dionysus in the _Frogs of Aristophanes_,
who says to Hercules when he is being hectored, "Don't come pitching
your tent in my mind, you have a house of your own!"--_Secretum meum
mihi_, as St. Francis of Assisi said--identity is the one thing of
which I am absolutely sure. One must go on perceiving, drawing in
impressions, feeling, doubting, suffering; one knows that souls like
one's own are moving in the mist; and if one can discern any ray of
light, any break in the clouds, one must shout one's loudest to one's
comrades; but you seem to me to want to silence my lonely experiences
by the vote of the majority, and the vote of the majority seems to me
essentially a dull and tiresome thing. Of course this sounds to you
the direst egotism; but when one has labelled a thing egotistic, one
has not necessarily condemned it, because the essence of the world is
its egotism. You would no doubt say that we are no more alone than the
leaves of a tree, that the sap which is in one leaf at one moment is
the next moment in another, and that we are more linked than we know.
I would give much to have that sense, but it is denied me, and
meanwhile the pressure of that corporate force of which you speak seems
to me merely to menace my own liberty, which is to me both sacred and
dear."
Sheldon smiled. "Yes," he said, "we do indeed speak different
languages. To me this sense of isolation of which you speak is merely
a melancholy phantom. I rejoice to feel one of a great company, and I
exult when the sap of the great tree flows up into my own small veins;
but do not think that I disapprove of your position. I only feel that
you are doing unconsciously the very thing that I desire you to do.
But at the same time I think that you are missing a great source of
strength, seeing a thing from the outside instead of feeling it from
the inside. Yet I think that is the way in which artists help the
world, through the passionate realisation of themselves. But you must
not think that you are carrying away your share of the spoil to your
lonely tent. It belongs to all of us, even what you have yourself won."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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