"Ye 'ill better clear yersel at ony rate, Hillocks, for some o' the
neeburs threep (insist) 'at it wes you, and some that it wes yir
freend, an' there's ithers declare ye ran in compt (company) like
twa dogs worrying sheep; it wes a bonnie like pliskie (escapade)
onywy, and hardly fit for an Auld Kirk elder"--a sally much enjoyed
by the audience, who knew that, after Whinnie, Hillocks was the
doucest man in Drumtochty.
"Weel, ye see it wes this wy," began Hillocks, with the air of a man
on his trial for fire raising. "Hopps fund oot that a Hielandman wes
tae preach in the Free Kirk, and naethin' wud sateesfy him but that
we maun gae. A' micht hae jaloused (suspected) it wesna the sermon
the wratch wantit, for he hed the impidence tae complain that the
Doctor was tedious Sabbath a fortnicht when he gied us 'Ruth,'
though I never minded 'Ruth' gae aff sae sweet a' the times a've
heard it.
"Gin a' hed imagined what the ettercap (captious creature) wes
aifter a' wud hae seen ma feet in the fire afore they carried me tae
the Free Kirk that nicht.
"Says he tae me on the road, 'A'm told the minister will be in his
national costume.'
"'He 'ill be in his goon and bands,' says I, 'if that's what ye
mean,' for the head o' him is fu' o' maggots, and nae man can tell
what he wull be at next.
"'Mister Soutar said that he would wear his kilt, and that it would
be an interesting spectacle.'
"'Jamie's been drawing yir leg (befooling you),' says I. 'Man,
there's naebody wears a kilt forbye gemkeepers and tourist bodies.
Ye 'ill better come awa hame,' and sall, if a' hed kent what wes tae
happen, a' wud hae taken him aff below ma oxter.
"It's no richt tae mak me responsible, for a' tried tae wile him awa
tae the back o' the kirk whar naebody cud see him, but he's that
thrawn and upsettin', if he didna gae tae the verra front seat afore
the poopit.
"'I want a good position,' says he; 'I'll see everything here;' sae
a' left him an' gied tae Elspeth Macfadyen's seat.
"'He's anxious tae hear,' she said, 'an' a'm thinkin' he 'ill get
mair than he expecks. A' wish it wes weel ower masel, Hillocks; it
'ill be an awfu' nicht.'
"Thae Hielandmen dinna pit aff time wi' the preleeminaries, but they
were lang eneuch tae let onybody see what kin' o' man Mactavish wes.
"A gruesome carle, neeburs, wi' his hair hangin' roond his face like
a warlock and his een blazin' oot o' his head like fire; the sicht
o' him is sure tae sober Hopps, thinks I.
"But no, there's some fouk 'ill tak nae warnin'; there he was,
sittin' in front o' Mactavish with his thumbs in his airm holes, and
a watch gaird spread richt across him, and ae leg cocked over the
ither, the verra eemage of a bantam cock fleein' in the face o'
judgment."
Drumtochty had never moved during this history, and now they drew
closer round Hillocks, on whom the mantle of speech had for once
descended.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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