There are moments into which a whole lifetime of agony seems to be
compressed. Such a moment was this for Ellen Adair. Darkness was
coming on rapidly now, but she sat on, her head bent low on her hands.
They were, then, separated for ever; there was no further hope for
her!--he himself had confirmed it. She wondered whether the pain would
kill her; whether she should be able to battle with it, or must die of
the humiliation it brought. The pain and the humiliation were strong
and sharp now--now as she sat there. By-and-by there stole again into
her mind those thoughts which Captain Bohun's appearance had
interrupted--the heavenly place of rest to which Bessy and Mrs.
Cumberland had passed. Insensibly it soothed her: and imagination went
roving away unchecked. She seemed to see the white robes of the
Redeemed; she saw the golden harps in their hands, the soft sweet
light around them, the love and peace. The thoughts served to show her
how poor and worthless, as compared with the joys of that Better Land,
were the trials and pains of this world: how short a moment, even at
the longest, they had to be endured: how quickly and surely all here
must pass away! Yes, she might endure with patience for the time! And
when she lifted her head, it was to break into a flood of violent yet
soothing tears, that she could not have shed before.
"Father in heaven, Thou seest all my trouble and my agony. I have no
one in the world to turn to for shelter--and the blast is strong.
Vouchsafe to guide and cover me!"
But night was falling, and she rose to make her way out of the
churchyard. In a sheltered nook that she passed, sat a man: and Ellen
started a little, and quickened her pace. It was Captain Bohun.
Instead of going away, he had turned back to wait. She understood it
at once: at that hour he would not leave her alone. He wished to be
chivalrous to her still, for all his utter faithlessness. In the very
teeth of his avowed desertion, his words and manner had proved that he
loved her yet. Loved _her_, and not another. It brought its own comfort
to Ellen Adair. Of course it ought not to have done so, but it did:
for the human heart at best is frail and faulty.
Captain Bohun followed her out of the churchyard, and kept her in
sight all the way home, every feeling he possessed aching for her. He
had seen the signs and traces of her weeping; he knew what must be the
amount of her anguish. He might have been ready to shoot himself could
it have restored her to peace; he felt that he should very much like
to shoot Mr. Adair, whose bad deeds had entailed this misery upon
them.
At the Hall gates he was overtaken by Richard, striding home hastily
to dinner. Richard, passing his arm through Arthur's, began telling
him that he feared he was going to have some trouble with his
ex-workmen.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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