Betsy Gaskins (Dimicrat), Wife of Jobe Gaskins (Republican): Or, Uncle Tom's Cabin Up to DateHood, W. I. (William I.)
General
Betsy Gaskins (Dimicrat), Wife of Jobe Gaskins (Republican): Or, Uncle Tom's Cabin Up to Date
Hood, W. I. (William I.)
Gold; Interest; Money; Paper money -- United States; Populism
I made one leg and the waist out of a pair of Jobe’s old black pants,
and the other leg I made out of a sheet.
The black leg is to represent the polerticians and schemers what wants a
“gold basis,” and the white leg is for the Dimicratic voters what wants
silver for money jist like we use to have years ago when times were
good.
I made the black leg and waist for the right side, because it seems that
the fellers what it stands for is the strongest, and the white leg is
for the “left” side.
When I was a soin that white leg to the black leg, every now and then a
stitch would break out of the white leg, jist as though that white leg
dident want to be hitched onto that “black leg” side, and I jist thought
it would be a wonder if the white leg side of them bloomers dident split
clear off from the “black leg” side before election day.
But by a good deal of whippin and stitchin I got them together and put
them on to go out and pick pertater bugs.
[Illustration: “The Dimicratic bloomers.”]
Jobe he was away, and I was as busy as I could be knockin bugs into an
old tomato can, bent over like, when Jobe come up to the gate and
hollered:
“Hello, mistur!”
I stopped and turned towards him and says, says I:
“I thank you, Jobe Gaskins; Ime no ‘mistur.’”
Well, you ort a seen the look on that man’s face.
He turned pale, opened his eyes skeert like, stepped back and says:
“Why, Betsy, what air you out here for with your clothes off?”
That made me mad. Says I:
“Mistur Gaskins, I thank you for none of your insults. If you had any
sense you would know that I am dressed in the latest fashion.”
Then I explained to him that bloomers were all the go, and that I had
made mine arter the style of my party—arter the Dimicratic State
platform of Ohio and the Dimicratic county platform of Tuscarawas
County—one gold, the other silver. Says I:
“Dont you see, Jobe, in this garb we ketch em a comin and we ketch em a
goin.”
Says he: “Betsy, do you intend to wear them things all fall?”
“I do,” says I.
[Illustration: “HELLO, MISTUR!”]
He studied a minit. Then, lookin at me determined like, says he:
[Illustration: “‘We ketch em a comin an we ketch em a goin.’”]
“You needent look for me home to-nite.”
And off he started.
As he went he kept lookin, fust back at me, then down at his pants.
Whether or not he was a thinkin that his pants with their patches
represented the platform of his “dear old Republican party” I cant say.
But I jist thought: “If they dont represent his party platform, they are
a good standin advertisement of the greenbacks that have been burnt, and
the bonds that have been issued, and silver that has been demonitized by
them within the last thirty years.”
Jobe is gone, the Lord only knows where, but Ive made up my mind to
truly represent the divided principles of Dimocracy as it now stands, if
doin so elects Coxey the next governor of Ohio and makes me a grass
widder for life. Feelin that way, I am yours in bloomers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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