Says I: “It is neither, Jobe. It is neither. It is female—female argament, based on common sense and bed-rock experience. It is the argament of a lovin wife to a errin husband. The argament of one who knows there is somethin wrong and has tried to find somethin better than what we have got. Are you ready?” says I. Jobe tried to nod his head, but couldent. He looked real interestin. “Perceed with the argament,” says he. So, leanin up strait in my chair and foldin my arms across my boozum, I perceeded. Says I: “Jobe, what is money?” “Money?” says he. “Why, money is—is—is—why, Betsy, money is jist money.” Says I: “Is that all the answer you can give?” “I guess so,” says he. Then a thought seemed to strike him, and, lookin up sudden like, says he: “Why, money is gold—thats what money is.” I looked at him a full minit. Then says I: “Jobe Gaskins, if money is gold, how much money have you seen since you was a baby? If money is gold, how much have you handled since you become the husband of Betsy Gaskins?” “Why—why,” says he, “I haint handled much gold, but I have——” “Hold on,” says I. “Then you haint seen much money, or else somethin is money besides gold—haint that so?” “Yes, I guess there is some money besides gold,” says he. “Then you agree that paper money is money, do you?” “Yes, I reckon it is,” says he. “Well, then,” says I, “we will perceed with the argament.” Jobe looked worried. If it hadent a been for them ropes and straps, about this time Jobe would a had bizness somewhere else. It seems that some men get very bizzy about the time one is ready to show them how they can help themselves. But, havin full confidence in that clothes line, I went on. “Money,” says I, “is somethin made by one’s government that we git when we dispose of somethin we have. If you sell somethin direct to the government and the government gives you money for it, it is the same as a receipt from the people that they have received from you somethin of so much value—and it at the same time is an order on all the people for them to give you whatever you want of equal value. The officers that make the money and do the bizness is merely the agents of a big company of people known as the United States, and each man, be he rich or poor, is a member of the firm. Instid of havin our money (that is these receipts) signed by every member of the company, which would require a very large piece of paper, we have a stamp, and say to our agents or officers for them to put that stamp on our money and we will stand by it. The placin of that stamp on a piece of paper by the right officers is the same as if all the twelve million men had signed it, and the women too. [Illustration: “I got a straw and tickled his nose.”]