Eva Donne was thirty-eight and three-quarters, as the children say. For
over twenty years she had been a governess--without kith or kin. All
the time she was haunted by a fear that the fat season was with her
now, and that the lean one was coming soon. She was not a scholar; she
was just the sweetest woman in the world. But while of the second fact
she had no notion, of the first she was hideously sure. She had
strained every nerve to improve her mental equipment; to keep herself
abreast of the educational requirements of the day; to pass
examinations; to win those certificates which teachers ought to have.
Always and ever in vain. The dullest of her scholars was not more dull
than she. How, under these circumstances, she found employment was
beyond her comprehension. Why, for instance, Miss Law should have kept
her upon her teaching staff for nearly thirteen consecutive years was
to her, indeed a mystery. That Miss Law should consider it well worth
her while to retain in her establishment a well-mannered, dainty lady;
possessed of infinite patience, kindliness, and tact; the soul of
honour; considering her employer's interests before her own; willing to
work late and early: who was liked by every pupil with whom she came
into contact, and so was able to smooth the head mistress's path in a
hundred different ways; that the shrewd proprietress of St. Cecilia's
College should esteem these qualifications as a sufficient set-off for
certain scholastic deficiencies never entered into Miss Donne's
philosophy. Therefore, though she said not a word of it to anyone, she
was tortured by a continual fear that each term would be her last.
Dismissed for inefficiency at her age, what should she do? For she was
growing old; she knew she was. She was grey--almost!--behind the ears;
her hair was thinner than it used to be; there were tell-tale wrinkles
about her eyes; she was conscious of a certain stiffness in her joints.
A governess so soon grows old, especially if she is not clever. Many a
time she lay awake all through the night thinking, with horror, of the
future which was in store for her. What should she do? She had saved so
little. Out of such a salary how could she save?--with her soft,
generous heart which could not resist a temptation to give. She
sometimes wondered, when the morning dawned, how it was that she had
not turned quite grey, after the racking anxieties of the sleepless
night.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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