Between their going in and coming out the sky had changed. The shadows
were lowering. The autumnal day was drawing to a close. September had
brought more than a suggestion of winter's breath. A grey chill
followed the departing sun. They went up, then down, the terrace,
without exchanging a word; then, moving aside, he offered her one of
the wicker-seated chairs which stood against the wall. She sat on it.
He sat opposite, leaning on the handle of his stick. The thin mist
which was stealing across the leaden sea did not invite lounging out of
doors. They had the terrace to themselves. She let her five-franc
pieces drop with a clinking sound on to her lap. He, conscious of
something on her face which he was unwilling to confront, looked
steadily seaward. Presently she gave utterance to her pent-up feelings.
"I am a gambler."
Had she accused herself of the unforgivable sin she could not have
seemed more serious. Somewhere within him was a laughing sprite. In
view of her genuine distress he did his best to keep it in subjection.
"You exaggerate. Staking a five-franc piece--for the good of the
house--on the _petits chevaux_ does not make you that, any more than
taking a glass of wine makes you a drunkard."
"Why did you make me, why did you let me, do it?"
"I didn't know you felt that way."
"And yet you said you knew me!"
He winched. He had told a falsehood. He did know her--there was the
sting. In mischievous mood he had induced her to do the thing which he
suspected that she held to be wrong. He had not supposed that she would
take it so seriously, especially if she won, being aware that there are
persons who condemn gambling when they or those belonging to them lose,
but who lean more towards the side of charity when they win. He did not
know what to say to her, so he said nothing.
"My father once lost over four hundred pounds on a horse-race. I don't
quite know how it was, I was only a child. He was in business at the
time. I believe it ruined him, and it nearly broke my mother's heart. I
promised her that I would never gamble--and now I have."
He felt that this was one of those women whose moral eye is
single--with whom it is better to be frank.
"I confess I felt that you might have scruples on the point; but I
thought you would look upon a single stake of a single five-franc piece
as a jest. Many American women--and many Englishwomen--who would be
horrified if you called them gamblers, go into the rooms at Monte Carlo
and lose or win a louis or two just for the sake of the joke."
"For the sake of the joke! Gamble for the sake of the joke! Are you a
Jesuit?" The question so took him by surprise that he turned and stared
at her. "I have always understood that that is how Jesuits reason--that
they try to make out that black is white. I hope--I hope you don't do
that?"
He smiled grimly, his thoughts recurring to some of the "deals" in
which his success had made him the well-to-do man he was.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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