"When I was a young man I did many things of which I have since had
good reason to be ashamed. Among the things, I used to write what Mr.
Ingledew would say correctly enough it would be flattering to call
nonsense. I regret to have to tell you that I wrote those verses to
which Mr. Ingledew has just called our attention in that dead and gone
Camford magazine."
The curate stood up almost straight.
"Sir!--Mr. Harding!"
"I did. To my shame, I own it. I had nearly forgotten them. I had not
seen a copy for years and years. I had hoped that there was none in
existence. But it seems that that which a man does, which he would
rather have left undone, is sure to rise, and confront him, we will
trust, by the grace of God, not in eternity, but certainly in time."
Mr. Plumber was trembling. The vicar continued, in a voice, and with a
manner, the exquisite delicacy of which was indescribable.
"I have esteemed it my duty to make you this confession in order that
you may understand that I, too, have done that of which I have cause to
be ashamed. And in making you this confession I must ask you to respect
my confidence, as I shall respect yours."
Mr. Plumber made a movement as if to speak. But, possibly his tongue
was parched and refused its office. At any rate, he did nothing but
stare at the vicar, with blanched cheeks, and strangely distended eyes.
When Mr. Harding went on, his glance, which had hitherto been fixed
upon the curate, fell--it may be that he wished to avoid the other's
dreadful gaze.
"I think, Mr. Plumber, you might prefer to leave Exdale and seek
another sphere of duty. As it chances, I have had a recent inquiry from
a friend who desires to know if I am acquainted with a gentleman who
would care to accept a chaplaincy at a health resort in the Pyrenees.
One moment." The curate made another movement as if to speak; the vicar
checked him. "The stipend is guaranteed to be at least £200 a year;
and, as there are also tutorial possibilities, on such an income, in
that part of the world, a gentleman would be able to bring up his
family in decent comfort. If you like, I will mention your name, and,
in that case, I think I am in a position to promise that the post shall
be place at your disposal."
The curate's hat and stick dropped from his trembling hands. He seemed
unconscious of their fate. He moved, or rather, it would be more
correct to say, he lurched towards the vicar's table.
"Sir!" he gasped. "Mr. Harding."
It seemed that he would say more--much more; but that still his tongue
was tied. His weight was on the table, as if, without the aid of its
support, he would not be able to stand. Rising, leaning forward, the
vicar gently laid his two hands upon the curate's. His voice quavered
as he spoke.
"Believe me, Mr. Plumber, we clergymen are no more immaculate than
other men."
The curate still was speechless. But he sank on his knees, and laying
his face on the vicar's writing table, he cried like a child.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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