And her letter, he said, should never leave him--her two letters; they
should be dearer to him than his life. He prayed her to take care of
herself, and if at any time she should want him to send for him from the
ends of the earth. Bracondale would always find him, sooner or later,
and he was hers to order as she willed.
And as he had ended his letter before, so he ended this one now:
"For ever and ever your devoted
"LOVER."
After this he sat a long time and gazed out upon the night. It was very
dark and cloudy, but in one space above his head two stars shone forth
for a moment in a clear peep of sky, and they seemed to send him a
message of hope. What hope? Was it, as she had said, the thought that
there would be a returning spring--even for them?
XXX
And the summer wore away and the dripping autumn came, and with each
week, each day almost, Josiah seemed to shrivel.
It was not very noticeable at first, after the ten days of sharp illness
which had prostrated him when he received the fatal letter.
He appeared to recover almost from that, and they went down to
Bessington Hall at the beginning of July. But there was no further talk
of a second honeymoon.
Theodora's tenderness and devotion never flagged. If her heart was
broken she could at least keep her word, and try to make her husband
happy. And so each one acted a part, with much zeal for the other's
welfare.
It was anguish to Josiah to see his wife's sweet face grow whiter and
thinner; she was so invariably bright and cheerful with him, so
considerate of his slightest wish.
His pride and affection for her had turned into a sort of adoration as
the days wore on. He used to watch her silently from behind a paper, or
when she thought he slept. Then the mask of smiles fell from her, and he
saw the pathetic droop of her young, fair head and the mournful gloom
that would creep into her great, blue eyes.
And he was the stumbling-block to her happiness. She had sent away the
man she loved in order to stay and be true to him, to minister to his
wants, and do her utmost to render him happy. Oh, what could he do for
her in return? What possible thing?
He lavished gifts upon her; he lavished gifts upon her sisters, upon her
father; their welfare, he remembered, was part of the bargain. At least
she would know these--her dear ones--had gained by it, and, so far, her
sacrifice had not been in vain.
This thought comforted him a little. But the constant gnawing ache at
his heart, and the withdrawal of all object to live for, soon began to
tell upon his always feeble constitution.
Of what use was anything at all? His house or his lands! His pride in
his position--even his title of "squire," which he often heard now. All
were dead-sea fruit, dust and ashes; there never would be any Browns of
Bessington in the years to come. There never would be anything for him,
never any more.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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