Beyond These VoicesBraddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
General
Beyond These Voices
Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
Fiction
It needed more than common cleverness and tact to bring about a change
in their manner of life, without making a direct appeal to Rutherford's
honour and telling him that their friendship had become a danger. To do
this would be to tell him that she loved him, to confess her weakness,
before he had passed the border line that divides the friend from the
lover. No, she could make no appeal to the man whose smouldering fires
she feared to kindle into flame. She knew that he loved her, and that
he had made her love him. She had to escape from the web that he had
woven round her; and she had, if possible, to set herself free without
his knowing the strength of her purpose, or the desperate nature of the
struggle.
All the chances were against her. She could not forbid him the house
without an open scandal. As he had come and gone in the last four
years, he must still be free to come and go. She could only avoid those
familiar hours--hours that had been so dear--by living in a perpetual
restlessness, always finding some engagement away from home.
It was weary work, but she persevered, and enlisted all the Disbrowes
in her cause, unconscious that they were being made use of. She
accepted every invitation, lent herself to everybody's fads,
philanthropic or otherwise; listened to the same fiddlers and singers
day after day, in drawing-rooms and among people that she knew by
heart; or stood with aching head under a ten-guinea hat, selling
programmes at amateur theatricals.
She contracted a closer alliance with Lady Susan Amphlett, and planned
excursions: a day at Windsor, a day at Dorking, at Guildford, to
rummage in furniture shops, at Greenwich to see the Nelson relics, to
Richmond and Hampton, even to Kew Gardens. Lady Susan was almost worn
out by these simple pleasures; but as she professed, and sincerely, an
absolute _culte_ for Vera Provana, she held out bravely.
These excursions were fairly successful, and as Vera took care that no
one should know where she and her friend were going--not even Susan
herself till they were on the road--it was not possible for Claude to
follow her. It was otherwise in the houses of her friends, where she
was always meeting him, and where it was essential that she should not
seem to avoid him, least of all to let him see that she was so doing.
She greeted him always with the old friendliness--a little more
cousinly than it had been of late; and she showed a matronly interest
in his health and occupations, as if she had been an aunt rather than a
cousin.
"It is quite delightful to meet you here this afternoon," he told her,
in a ducal house where guinea tickets for a charity concert seemed
cheap to the outside public. "You are to be met anywhere and everywhere
except in your own house. I have called so often that I have taken a
disgust for your knockers. When I am dead I believe those lions' heads
will be found engraven on my heart, like Queen Mary's Calais."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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