Bi-sexual love; the homosexual neurosisStekel, Wilhelm
Science
Bi-sexual love; the homosexual neurosis
Stekel, Wilhelm
Homosexuality; Neuroses
His first sexual feelings arose around the 12th year; he contends
that till that time he knew absolutely nothing about sexual matters.
At that age an experience brought his attention to the subject of sex
for the first time; he played circus with a younger sister and with
his 10-year old uncle and sat on the latter’s back. While imitating a
rider’s movements he noticed that his penis became stiff and he had
a pleasurable sensation wetting himself in front. He did not know
the meaning of this occurrence but was too shy to tell anyone about
it. Shortly after that he tried deliberately to reproduce similar
situations; whenever he succeeded he also tried to attain ejaculation.
He insists that he was not attracted particularly to his uncle, whom
alone he had used for this form of gratification, nor to any other
boy or man, his only desire at the time was to achieve ejaculation.
Later during his high school years, when he had opportunity to gratify
himself in the same way, he met a young colleague of his own age,
a strong and beautiful boy, who appealed to him very strongly and
with that boy playing the passive role he indulged more and more
frequently in sexual deeds. In fact as soon as he met that particular
boy the thought occurred to him that he would like to have him for
the gratification of his sexual feelings in the manner peculiar to
himself. During play he used all manner of excuses to climb upon his
friend’s back and to imitate a rider’s galloping movements until
he had ejaculation. Subsequently he found frequent occasion to use
other colleagues in the same way. After drinking it was particularly
difficult for him to restrain himself; that is why he frequently had
to do with soldiers while intoxicated and one day he was caught and
this led to his dismissal from the army. In order to get rid of his
unnatural inclination he took up a girl, had normal intercourse with
her a few times but without any pleasurable feeling on his part,
although in order to accomplish this he had to suppose himself riding
a man in the manner customary with him, and eventually he acquired a
gonorrheal infection. Then he migrated to South-West Africa, but even
there was unable to master his inclination, felt himself impelled to
maintain relations with young Hottentots, was caught at it, sentenced
to jail, and finally banished from the Country.
In this case the gonorrheal infection seems to have put an end to his
heterosexual period.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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