Bi-sexual love; the homosexual neurosisStekel, Wilhelm
Science
Bi-sexual love; the homosexual neurosis
Stekel, Wilhelm
Homosexuality; Neuroses
Miss X. had a father who was addicted to drink and a hysteropathic
mother. She herself is of a neuropathic constitution; has full breasts,
and generally the outward appearance of an unusually attractive woman
but reveals boyish ways about her and various male peculiarities,—she
fences, rides horseback, smokes and has a decidedly mannish way of
standing and walking. Lately her romantic attachment to young women has
become quite noticeable. She has a young woman with her sharing her
apartment.
Miss X. claims that up to the time of puberty she was sexually
indifferent. At 17 years of age she became acquainted at a summer
resort with a young foreigner whose “majestic” figure made a tremendous
impression upon her. The privilege of dancing a whole evening with
him made her happy. _The following evening, at twilight, she witnessed
a horrible scene—from her window she saw that wonderful man in the
bushes futuare more bestiarum mulierem quandam inter menstruationem._
_Adspectu sanguinis currentis et libidinis quasi bestialis viri Miss
X. felt shocked, she seemed powerless and crushed, could hardly
recover her psychic equilibrium and for some time after that could
neither sleep nor eat; from that time on man stood in her mind for the
quintessence of bestiality._
Two years later a young woman approached her in a public garden, smiled
and glanced at her with a very peculiar look which penetrated deeply
into her soul. The following day Miss X. felt impelled to visit again
that public garden. The woman was there, in fact, she seemed to have
been expecting her. They greeted one another like old acquaintances;
they talked and joked pleasantly and thereafter met by appointment
daily, first in the garden, and later, when the weather became
unpleasant, in the woman’s living apartment. “One day,” Miss X. relates
confidentially “the woman led me up to her divan and allowed me to
glide to the floor while she seated herself. She lifted her shy eyes
at me, stroked the hair off my forehead softly with her hand, saying:
‘Oh, if I could once love you the real way, may I?’ I consented, and
as we sat close by gazing into each other’s eyes, before we knew it
we passed to that love from which there is no drawing back.... She
was bewitchingly beautiful. For me the whole experience was something
new and intoxicating.... I do not believe that man is ever able to
feel such delicate, bewitching, exquisite intoxication.... Man is
not sufficiently sensitive, he is not delicate enough for that....
Our foolish abandon lasted until I fell back exhausted, helpless,
intoxicated. In this exhausted state I was lying on her bed when
suddenly an exquisite feeling thrilled through me and awoke me from
my half dreamy state, something unspeakably sweet and unlike anything
I had ever experienced before; I found J. on top of me, _cunnilingus
perficiens_—that was her highest pleasure, _tandem mihi non licebat
altrum quam osculos dare ad mammas_—and with every motion she shook
convulsively.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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