Bi-sexual love; the homosexual neurosisStekel, Wilhelm
Science
Bi-sexual love; the homosexual neurosis
Stekel, Wilhelm
Homosexuality; Neuroses
He calls a few times continually talking about his pains. One day he
states that he has about made up his mind to quit. But next day he
returns and brings me a lengthy written document: “You have asked me
repeatedly about my dreams. I have written down my last night’s dreams.
I always dream a lot and my dreams are always lively and about like
those of last night. I have also brought along my true confessions to
let you know what I really am. You will see from the confession of my
life history what brought about my illness. I see I cannot get along
any more trying to keep it all to myself. Let the truth come out.”
I am now giving this life history as it was presented to me in writing,
following it up with the dream report.
_The Story of My Illness and My Biography_
I lived in the parental home up to my 4th year and then I was taken in
charge by my mother’s people. My father’s business compelled him to be
away from home for months, sometimes for a whole year at a stretch.
My grandparents brought me up with much tenderness, and as they were
very religious, my education was also based on piety. They lived in
a very prettily situated village, an old, lovely resort place. The
river flowing nearby was naturally the meeting place for us children.
On account of the danger of drowning I was an object of great concern
to my grandparents, so that they tried to keep me close to them as
much as possible. I went with them to church daily, visited with them,
usually at the homes of elderly people where the conversation was
almost exclusively about religious matters, and on every occasion it
was drilled into me under the most terrible threats and admonitions to
pray and be good.
I heard numerous stories of deeds and miracles attributed to the Holy
Mother and I was shown the places where some of these took place in the
neighborhood.
Then I returned to mother. Soon afterwards I went to school. Sister
taught me the primer and soon I was able to go through my favorite
book, an old large copy of the Bible, whereas formerly I depended on
questioning others.
Frequently I gave up all games preferring to sit in a corner poring
over my Bible. It is customary in the country to undergo a public
examination in the church every half year. My sister two and one half
years older than I prepared herself for that event for some time
because she did not learn easily. I followed her study carefully and
was able to recite everything as well as she.
The examination came up at the church and no one could answer a certain
question. But I knew the answer, because it was part of sister’s
lesson, made signs, the vicar asked me and I surprised everybody by
giving the correct answer. It was the prayer, “Our Father.” My folks
admired me for it, gave me presents and said: “Boy, you will grow up to
be a fine man.” This praise touched me very deeply.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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