Stella drew the brush mechanically through her heavy hair. She had been
asking herself that. What could she do? A long road and a hard one lay
ahead of her or any other woman who essayed to make her voice the basis
of a career. Over and above that she was not free to seek such a career.
Fyfe himself knew that, and it irritated her that he should ask such a
question. She swung about on him.
"Nothing," she said a trifle tartly. "How can I? Granting that my voice
is worth the trouble, would you like me to go and study in the East or
abroad? Would you be willing to bear the expense of such an undertaking?
To have me leave Jack to nursemaids and you to your logs?"
"So that in the fullness of time I might secure a little reflected glory
as the husband of Madame Fyfe, the famous soprano," he replied slowly.
"Well, I can't say that's a particularly pleasing prospect."
"Then why ask me what I'm going to do with it?" she flung back
impatiently. "It'll be an asset--like my looks--and--and--"
She dropped her face in her hands, choking back an involuntary sob. Fyfe
crossed the room at a bound, put his arms around her.
"Stella, Stella!" he cried sharply. "Don't be a fool."
"D--don't be cross, Jack," she whispered. "Please. I'm sorry. I simply
can't help it. You don't understand."
"Oh, don't I?" he said savagely. "I understand too well; that's the
devil of it. But I suppose that's a woman's way,--to feed her soul with
illusions, and let the realities go hang. Look here."
He caught her by the shoulders and pulled her to her feet, facing him.
There was a fire in his eye, a hard shutting together of his lips that
frightened her a little.
"Look here," he said roughly. "Take a brace, Stella. Do you realize what
sort of a state of mind you're drifting into? You married me under more
or less compulsion,--compulsion of circumstances,--and gradually you're
beginning to get dissatisfied, to pity yourself. You'll precipitate
things you maybe don't dream of now, if you keep on. Damn it, I didn't
create the circumstances. I only showed you a way out. You took it. It
satisfied you for a while; you can't deny it did. But it doesn't any
more. You're nursing a lot of illusions, Stella, that are going to make
your life full of misery."
"I'm not," she sobbed. "It's because I haven't any illusions
that--that--Oh, what's the use of talking, Jack? I'm not complaining. I
don't even know what gave me this black mood, just now. I suppose that
queer miracle of my voice coming back upset me. I feel--well, as if I
were a different person, somehow; as if I had forfeited any right to
have it. Oh, it's silly, you'll say. But it's there. I can't help my
feeling--or my lack of it."
Fyfe's face whitened a little. His hands dropped from her shoulders.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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