Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary GemsNye, Bill
General
Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary Gems
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
At some other time I may say something relative to the Indian's home
life, and attempt to show that while he appears in his public career to
great advantage, both as a general and as a statesman, he is prone,
like other great men, to little domestic irregularities. At this
time, however, I intend simply to give some particulars of the great
convention of 1875, which have never been brought to the eye of the
reading public.
In the autumn of the above year at that delightful season when=
````The maple turns to crimson,
````And the sassafras to gold.=
When the soft and mellow light of the declining year sheds a subdued
splendor of misty, dreamy languor over the snow-clad mountains and
wooded canyons of Colorado, when the deep green of the mountain pine is
darkly outlined against the pale gold of the poplar, and the cottonwood,
and the willow, the chairman of the Republican central committee of the
Ute nation, issued a call for a mammoth convention, to be held at Hot
Sulphur Springs, for the purpose of nominating a candidate for head
chief, to succeed Ula, whose term of office had expired by reason of his
having violated the provisions of his first general order, in which he
had pronounced himself as a champion of civil service reform.
The day for the grand convention had arrived, and Hot Sulphur Springs
had become, all at once, a lively, bustling city. From every point of
the compass came the wild shouts of the gathering delegates, with their
credentials in one pocket, and their patriotism in pint bottles in the
other.
The convention was called to order, and effected a permanent
organization by electing Shavano as permanent chairman.
Shavano rose with stalely gravity, bowed to the assembled convention,
and walked to the platform, escorted by his trainer. He gracefully
removed a quid of partially masticated government plug tobacco, and
laying it carefully on the speaker's desk, said:
"Warriors of the Ute Nation, and Gentlemen of the Convention: We are
gathered once more amid the solemn silence of the mountains, and under
the dying leaves of the forest, to nominate a candidate to serve as
executive of the Ute nation.
"Ula, the medicine man for this moon, who had hoped to be here, and who
had his impromptu speech written for this occasion, will not be able to
attend. I had hoped to see him here that he might act as secretary, but
last evening he was shot by request.
"It seems that he had diagnosed the case of Prairie Dog, the son of
Coyote, and had pronounced it to be membranous croup; but the coroner's
inquest developed the fact that Prairie Dog had climbed the golden
stair, the victim to a can of concentrated lye.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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