Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary GemsNye, Bill
General
Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary Gems
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
What is it about the classic mouth, with its charming _naivete_, and
the amber tinge lurking about its roguish outlines, which awakes the old
thrill in Luella's heart, and causes the vital current to recede from
its accustomed channels, and leave her face like marble, save where here
and there a large freckle stands out in bold relief? It is the mouth of
Pigeon toed Pete. Those same Gothic features stand out before her, and
she knows him in a moment. It is true he had colored his mustache,
and he wore a stand-up collar; but it was the same form, the same low,
musical, squeaky voice, and the same large, intellectual ears, which she
remembered so well.
It appeared that he had been to the Gunnison country, and having
manifested considerable originality and genius as a bull whacker, had
secured steady employment and large wages, being a man with a ready
command of choice and elegant profanity, and an irresistable way of
appealing to the wants of a sluggish animal. Taking his spare change, he
had invested it in hand made sour mash corn juice, which he retailed at
from 25 to 50 cents per glass. Rain water being plenty, the margin was
large, and his profits highly satisfactory. In this way he had managed
to get together some cash, and was at once looked upon as a leading
capitalist, and a man on whom rested the future prosperity of the
country. He wore moss-agate sleeve buttons, and carried a stem-winding
watch. He looked indeed like a thing of life, and as he closed with some
stirring quotation from Martin F. Tupper amid the crash of applause,
and the band struck up the oratorio of "Whoop'em up'Liza Jane," and
the audience dispersed to witness a game of base-ball. Luella took her
husband's arm, climbed into the lumber wagon, and rode home, with a
great grief in her heart. Had she deferred her wedding for only a few
short hours, the course of her whole life would have been entirely
changed, and, instead of plodding her weary way through the long,
tedious years as Mrs. Hopper, making rag-carpets during the winter, and
smashing the voracious potato bug during the summer, she might have
been interested in a carbonate 'Bonanza, worn checked stockings, and
low-necked shoes.
There are two large, limpid tears standing in her sorrel eyes, as the
curtain falls on this story, and her lips move involuntarily as she
murmurs that little couplet from Milton:--
```"I feel kind of sad and bilious, because
``My heart keeps sighing, 'It couldn't was.'"=
SPEECH OF SPARTACTUS.
ADAPTED FROM THE ORIGINAL ESPECIALLY FOR THIS WORK.
|It had been a day of triumph in Capua. Lentulus returning with
victorious eagles, had aroused the populace with the sports of the
amphitheatre, to an extent hitherto unknown even in that luxurious city.
A large number of people from the rural districts had been in town to
watch the conflict in the arena, and to listen with awe and veneration
to the infirm and decrepit ring jokes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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