Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary GemsNye, Bill
General
Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary Gems
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
During that day a good many of my friends came around to see me. I
didn't know I had so many friends. They all seemed to be in first-rate
spirits. They seemed glad to see me, and laughed a good deal. Sometimes
I couldn't see what they were laughing at, for my horizon was shrouded
in gloom. It don't take much to make some people laugh.
I have never felt perfectly at ease with Governor Thayer since that. I
know that he regards me as a confederate with that man, and he thinks
that I got part of the money realized from the sale of that team, but
I didn't. If it were the last statement I should make on earth I would
still say?
As Heaven is my witness, that I have never realized a single dollar from
the sale of that team.
HE WENT OUT WEST FOR HIS HEALTH.
|In my capacity of justice of the peace and general wholesale and retail
dealer in fresh, new-laid equity and evenhanded justice, I often meet
with those who have seen better days, and who, through the ever-changing
fortunes of the west, have fallen lower and lower in the social scale,
until they stand up and are assessed as "common drunks," or "vags," or
"assault and batteries," with that natural and easy grace which comes
only to those who have been before the public in that capacity,
so numerously, that it has ceased to indicate itself by the usual
embarrassment of the amateur.
[Illustration: 9145]
Perhaps no surging sentiments of pity have stirred my very soul during
my official career, like those that throbbed wildly athwart my system a
few days ago.
It was a case of the most bitter disappointment of a young life. A youth
from Chicago, came to me, near the close of day. I was just about to
lock up the judicial scales for the evening, and secure the doors of
the archives, preparatory to going out and "shaking" the mayor for the
lemonade, after which I intended to breathe in a little fresh atmosphere
and go home to dinner.
It had been a hard day in the temple of justice that day, and the court
was weary.
It had dealt out even-handed justice at regular rates, since early
morning, at so much per deal, till fatigue was beginning to show itself
in the lines upon the broad, white brow.
Therefore, when a halting step was heard on the stair, there was a low
murmur on the part of the court, and a half-surprised moan that sounded
like the tail end of an affidavit.
The young man who entered the hallowed presence of eternal justice, and
the all-pervading and dazzling beauty of the court in its shirt-sleeves,
was of about medium stature, with shoes cut decollette, and
Roman-striped socks clocked with brocaded straw-colored silk.
He wore an ecru colored straw hat, with navy-blue brocaded band,
and necktie of old gold, with polka dots of humberta and cardinal,
interspersed with embroidered horseshoe and stirrup in coucherde soleil
and ultramarine.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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