Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary GemsNye, Bill
General
Bill Nye and Boomerang: Or, The Tale of a Meek-Eyed Mule, and Some Other Literary Gems
Nye, Bill
American wit and humor
We are going to devote a part of the summer to grafting the saddle-rock
oyster on the vegetable oyster-plant, and will spare no pains to
secure an inland oyster that will stand this dry air and high, rigorous
climate.
THE SAME OLD THING.
|Recently I have had the pleasure of acting as chief mourner at a
mountain picnic. This subject has been pretty well represented in
romance and song already; but I venture to give my experience as being a
little out of the ordinary.
The joy which is experienced in the glad, free life of the picnicker is
always before the picnic. On the evening before he makes the excursion,
he is too full of sacred pleasure and lavender-colored tranquillity for
anything.
He glides about the house, softly warbling to himself the fragment of
some tender love song, while he packs the corkscrews and matches, and
other vegetables for the morrow.
I was placed in command of a party of ladies who had everything arranged
so that all I needed to do would be to get into the buggy and drive to
the mountains, eat my lunch, and drive back again.
I like to go with a party of ladies, because they never make suggestions
about the route, or how to drive.
[Illustration: 9154]
They are just as full of gentle trust and child-like confidence and
questions as they can be.
They get the lunch ready and get into the buggy, and keep thinking of
things they have forgotten, till they get 400 miles from home, and they
sing little pieces of old songs, and won't let the great, horrid man in
charge of the excursion have any lunch when he gets hungry, because they
are hunting for a romantic spot beneath the boughs of a magnificent elm,
while every sane man in the Territory knows that there isn't an elm big
or little, within 1,4321 1/2 miles.
We went up in the mountains, because we wanted to go where it would be
cool. As a search for a cool resort, this picnic of ours was the most
brilliant success. We kept going up at an angle of forty-five degrees
from the time we left home until we had to get out and walk to keep
warm. We got into one of the upper strata of clouds; and a cold mist
mixed with fragments of ice-cream, and large chunks of hail and misery,
about the size of a burglar-proof safe came gathering over us. Then we
camped in the midst of the mountain storm, and the various ladies
sat down on their feet, and put the lap-robes over them, and looked
reproachfully at me. We hovered around under the buggy, and two or three
little half-grown parasols, and watched the storm. It was a glorious
spectacle to the thinking mind.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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