Glad to find one blessed oasis of tranquillity, I stood leaning against
a column of the porch, and striving to lose my sadness in running over
one of the huge placards. No one molested me. A tattered little girl, to
be sure, approached with a hand-bill extended, but marking me more
narrowly, retreated; her strange skill in physiognomy at once enabling
her to determine that I was penniless. As I read, and read--for the
placard, of enormous dimensions, contained minute particulars of each
successive scene in the enacted play--gradually a strong desire to
witness this celebrated Macready in this his celebrated part stole over
me. By one act, I might rest my jaded limbs, and more than jaded
spirits. Where else could I go for rest, unless I crawled into my cold
and lonely bed far up in an attic of Craven Street, looking down upon
the muddy Phlegethon of the Thames. Besides, what I wanted was not
merely rest, but cheer; the making one of many pleased and pleasing
human faces; the getting into a genial humane assembly of my kind; such
as, at its best and highest, is to be found in the unified multitude of
a devout congregation. But no such assemblies were accessible that
night, even if my unbefriended and rather shabby air would overcome the
scruples of those fastidious gentry with red gowns and long gilded
staves, who guard the portals of the first-class London tabernacles from
all profanation of a poor, forlorn, and fainting wanderer like me. Not
inns, but ecclesiastical hotels, where the pews are the rented chambers.
No use to ponder, thought I, at last; it is Saturday night, not Sunday;
and so, a theatre only can receive me. So powerfully in the end did the
longing to get into the edifice come over me, that I almost began to
think of pawning my overcoat for admittance. But from this last
infatuation I was providentially withheld by a sudden cheery summons, in
a voice unmistakably benevolent. I turned, and saw a man who seemed to
be some sort of a working man.
‘Take it,’ said he, holding a plain red ticket toward me, full in the
gas-light. ‘You want to go in; I know you do. Take it. I am suddenly
called home. There--hope you’ll enjoy yourself. Good-bye.’
Blankly and mechanically I had suffered the ticket to be thrust into my
hand, and now stood quite astonished, bewildered, and for the time,
ashamed. The plain fact was, I had received charity; and for the first
time in my life. Often in the course of my strange wanderings I had
needed charity, but never had asked it, and certainly never, ere this
blessed night, had been offered it. And a stranger, and in the very maw
of the roaring London, too! Next moment my sense of foolish shame
departed, and I felt a queer feeling in my left eye, which, as sometimes
is the case with people, was the weaker one; probably from being on the
same side with the heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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