‘You see what we have,’ said Coulter--‘salt pork, rye-bread, and
pudding. Let me help you. I got this pork of the Squire; some of his
last year’s pork, which he let me have on account. It isn’t quite so
sweet as this year’s would be; but I find it hearty enough to work on,
and that’s all I eat for. Only let the rheumatiz and other sicknesses
keep clear of me, and I ask no flavours or favours from any. But you
don’t eat of the pork!’
‘I see,’ said the wife, gently and gravely, ‘that the gentleman knows
the difference between this year’s and last year’s pork. But perhaps he
will like the pudding.’
I summoned up all my self-control, and smilingly assented to the
proposition of the pudding, without by my looks casting any reflections
upon the pork. But, to tell the truth, it was quite impossible for me
(not being ravenous, but only a little hungry at the time) to eat of the
latter. It had a yellowish crust all round it, and was rather rankish, I
thought, to the taste. I observed, too, that the dame did not eat of it,
though she suffered some to be put on her plate, and pretended to be
busy with it when Coulter looked that way. But she ate of the rye-bread,
and so did I.
‘Now, then, for the pudding,’ said Coulter. ‘Quick, wife; the Squire
sits in his sitting-room window, looking far out across the fields. His
timepiece is true.’
‘He don’t play the spy on you, does he?’ said I.
‘Oh, no!--I don’t say that. He’s a good enough man. He gives me work.
But he’s particular. Wife, help the gentleman. You see, sir, if I lose
the Squire’s work, what will become of----’ and, with a look for which I
honoured humanity, with sly significance he glanced toward his wife;
then, a little changing his voice, instantly continued--‘that fine horse
I am going to buy.’
‘I guess,’ said the dame, with a strange, subdued sort of inefficient
pleasantry--‘I guess that fine horse you sometimes so merrily dream of
will long stay in the Squire’s stall. But sometimes his man gives me a
Sunday ride.’
‘A Sunday ride!’ said I.
‘You see,’ resumed Coulter, ‘wife loves to go to church; but the nighest
is four miles off, over yon snowy hills. So she can’t walk it; and I
can’t carry her in my arms, though I have carried her upstairs before
now. But, as she says, the Squire’s man sometimes gives her a lift on
the road; and for this cause it is that I speak of a horse I am going to
have one of these fine sunny days. And already, before having it, I have
christened it “Martha.” But what am I about? Come, come, wife! the
pudding! Help the gentleman, do! The Squire! the Squire!--think of the
Squire! and help round the pudding. There, one--two--three mouthfuls
must do me. Good-bye, wife. Good-bye, sir. I’m off.’
And, snatching his soaked hat, the noble Poor Man hurriedly went out
into the soak and the mire.
I suppose now, thinks I to myself, that Blandmour would poetically say,
He goes to take a Poor Man’s saunter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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