A pup barks more than an old dog. Character needs no epitaph. You can bury the man, but character will beat the hearse back from the graveyard and it will travel up and down the streets while you are under the sod. It will bless or blight long after your name is forgotten. Some people pray like a jack-rabbit eating cabbage. If you put a polecat in the parlor you know which will change first--the polecat or the parlor? A church is not dropped down on a street corner to decorate the corner and be the property of a certain denomination. Many preachers are like a physician--strong on diagnosis, but weak on therapeutics. Your religion is in your will, not in your handkerchief. It won't save your soul if your wife is a Christian. You have got to be something more than a brother-in-law to the Church. If every black cloud had a cyclone in it, the world would have been blown into toothpicks long ago. No man has any business to be in a bad business. When you quit living like the devil I will quit preaching that way. You can't raise the standard of women's morals by raising their pay envelope. It lies deeper than that. The seventh commandment is not: "Thou shalt not commit affinity." A saloon-keeper and a good mother don't pull on the same rope. The presumptive husband should be able to show more than the price of a marriage license. Put the kicking straps on the old Adam, feed the angel in you, and starve the devil. When a baby is born, what do you do with it? Put it in a refrigerator? That's a good place for a dead chicken, and cold meat, but a poor place for babies. Then don't put these new converts, 'babes in Christ,' into refrigerator churches. [Illustration: "I'LL FIGHT TILL HELL FREEZES OVER."] Nobody can read the Bible thoughtfully, and not be impressed with the way it upholds the manhood of man. More chapters in the Bible are devoted to portraying the manhood of Caleb than to the creation of the world. Home is on a level with the women; the town is on a level with the homes. [Illustration: "A SALOON-KEEPER AND A GOOD MOTHER DON'T PULL ON THE SAME ROPE"] You will find lots of things in Shakespeare which are not fit for reading in a mixed audience and call that literature. When you hear some truths here in the tabernacle you will call it vulgar. It makes all the difference in the world whether Bill Shakespeare or Bill Sunday said it. The more oyster soup it takes to run a church, the faster it runs to the devil. The reason you don't like the Bible, you old sinner, is because it knows all about you. Bob Ingersoll wasn't the first to find out that Moses made mistakes. God knew about it long before Ingersoll was born. All that God has ever done to save this old world, has been done through men and women of flesh and blood like ourselves. Nearly everybody is stuck up about something. Some people are even proud that they aren't proud.