The average young man is more careful of his company than the average girl. Going to church doesn't make a man a Christian, any more than going to a garage makes him an automobile. If we people were able to have panes of glass over our hearts, some of us would want stained glass, wouldn't we? To see some people, you would think that the essential orthodox Christianity is to have a face so long they could eat oatmeal out of the end of a gas pipe. God likes a little humor, as is evidenced by the fact that he made the monkey, the parrot--and some of you people. Wouldn't this city be a great place to live in if some people would die, get converted, or move away? The normal way to get rid of drunkards is to quit raising drunkards--to put the business that makes drunkards out of business. You can't shine for God on Sunday, and then be a London fog on Monday. I don't believe that God wants any man to be a hermit. Jesus Christ did not wear a hair shirt and sleep upon a bed of spikes. He went among the people and preached the Gospel. If you only believe things that you can understand you must be an awful ignoramus. There is more power in a mother's hand than in a king's scepter. I have no doubt that there are men looking into my face tonight who will have "1914" carved on their tombstones. If God had no more interest in this world than some of you church members have in Johnstown, this city would have been in hell long ago. I hate to see a man roll up to church in a limousine and then drop a quarter in the collection plate. Give your face to God and he will put his shine on it. No fountain under the sun can hold enough to satisfy an immortal spirit. Jesus Christ came among the common people. Abraham Lincoln said that God must have loved the common people: he made so many of them. Yank some of the groans out of your prayers, and shove in some shouts. The Bible says forgive your debtors; the world says "sue them for their dough." The race will appear as far above us as we are above the harem when godly girls marry godly men. It is impossible for a saloon-keeper to enjoy a good red-hot prayer-meeting. I'm no spiritual masseur or osteopath. I'm a surgeon, and I cut deep. A prudent man won't swallow a potato bug, and then take Paris green to kill it. If you want milk and honey on your bread, you'll have to go into the land where there are giants. There is nothing in the world of art like the songs mother used to sing. God pays a good mother. Mothers, get your names on God's pay-roll. The man who can drive a hog and keep his religion will stand without hitching. The right preaching of the Gospel will never hurt anything good. If you would have your children turn out well, don't turn your home into a lunch counter and lodging house. Man was a fool in the Garden of Eden, and he has taken a good many new degrees since.