"But his wife was too taken up with the gin bottle to pay much heed to his pitiful words. She just kept flirting around in the water and singing snatches of bad sailor songs she'd picked up around the docks. "'Take her home,' said my wife, 'take her home, you weakling, by force.' "'But I can't when she's in this condition. I got a child in my arms.' "'Give me the baby,' said my wife, with sudden determination. 'I'll take care of it until to-morrow night when you can come back here and get it.' "He handed the flopping little thing up to my wife and turned to the mermaid. "'Lil,' he says to her, holding out his arms to her, 'Lil, will you come home?' "Lil swims up to him then and takes him by the arm and looks at him for a long time. "'Kiss me, Archie,' she says suddenly, 'I don't mind if I do,' and flipping a couple of pounds of water upon the both of us on the pier, she pulls him under the water laughing and that's the last I saw of either of them. Now I ain't asaying as I have ever seen a mermaid mind you," continued the chief, "but what I do say is that if any man has ever seen one I'm the man." "I understand perfectly," said I, "and what, chief, became of the baby?" "Oh, the baby," said the chief, thoughtful like; "the baby--well, you see, about that baby--" he gazed searchingly around the landscape for a moment before replying. "Oh, the baby," he said suddenly, as if greatly relieved, "well, my wife took the baby home and kept it in the bathtub for a couple of days after which she returned it in person to its father. She made me give up my job. It did squint, though," said the chief, as he got up to go, "ever so little." I turned to my shovel. "But I ain't saying as I have ever seen a mermaid," he said, turning back in his tracks, "all I'm saying is that--" "I know, Chief," I said wearily, "I fully appreciate your delicacy and fairness. You're not the man to make any false claims." "No, sir, not I," he replied, as he walked slowly away. _August 5th._ In order to distract Mr. Fogerty's attention from his love affair and in a sort of desperate endeavor to win him back to me I took him away on my last liberty with me. Fogerty doesn't come under the heading of a lap dog, but through some technical quibble I managed to smuggle him into the subway. All he did there was to knock over one elderly lady and lick her face effusively when he had gotten her down. This resulted in a small but complete panic. For the most part, however, he sat quietly on my lap and sniffed at those around him. At last we reached Washington Square, whereupon I proceeded to take Mr. Fogerty around and show him off to my friends. He was well received, but his heart wasn't with us. It was far away in City Island. [Illustration: "FOR THE MOST PART, HOWEVER, HE SAT QUIETLY ON MY LAP AND SNIFFED"]