When friends or others came to visit him, whom he knew feared God, he would cause them go and pray for him, and sent some of them expresly to the wood of Kenmuir on that errand. After some cool of a fever (as was thought), he caused one of his attendants call for the minister, to whom he said smiling, "Rejoice now, for he is come. O! if I had a tongue to tell the world what Jesus Christ hath done for my soul." And yet after all this, conceiving hopes of recovery, he became more careless, remiss, and dead, for some days, and seldom called for the minister (though, he would not suffer him to go home to his flock), which his lady and others perceiving went to the physician, and asked his judgment anent him.----He plainly told them, There was nothing but death for him if his flux returned, as it did. This made the minister go to him and give him faithful warning of his approaching danger, telling him, his glass was shorter than he was aware of, and that Satan would be glad to steal his soul out of the world sleeping; this being seconded by the physician, he took the minister by the hand, thanked him for his faithful and plain dealing, and acknowledged the folly of his deceiving heart in looking over his affection to this life when he was so fairly once on his journey toward heaven; then ordered them all to leave the chamber except the minister, and causing him to shut the door, he conferred with him anent the state of his soul. After prayer the minister told him, He feared that his former joy had not been well grounded, neither his humiliation deep enough, and therefore desired him to dig deeper, representing his offence both against the first and second table of the law, &c. whereupon his lordship reckoned out a number of great sins, and, amongst the rest, freely confessed his sin in deserting the last parliament, saying, "God knoweth I did it with fearful wrestling of conscience, my light paying me home within, when I seemed to be glad and joyful before men, &c." The minister being struck with astonishment at this reckoning after such fair appearance of sound marks of grace in his soul, stood up and read the first eight verses in the 6th of the epistle to the Hebrews and discoursed thereon, then cited Rev. xxi. _But the fearful and unbeliever_, &c. and told him he had not one word of mercy from the Lord to him, and so turned his back, at which he cried out with tears (that they heard him at some distance) saying, "God armed is coming against me to beat out my brains; I would die; I dare not die; I would live; I dare not live; O what a burthen is the hand of an angry God! Oh! what shall I do! Is there no hope of mercy?" In this agony he lay for some time. Some said, The minister would kill him,--Others, He would make him despair. But he bore with them, and went to a secret place, where he sought words from God to speak to this patient.