Nigel "ran across" Rupert in Paris--Englishmen who are acquainted with
each other always do meet in Paris--and they agreed to dine together.
Each was pleased to see the other, not so much for each other's own
sake, but for the pleasure of associations. The sight of Rupert reminded
Nigel of one of the pleasantest evenings in his life--that evening they
had spent at the Russian Ballet. Bertha had sat next to him. Bertha had
been delightful. She had looked lovely and laughed at his jokes, and had
been all brightness and amiability--it had been before the first shadow,
the first thought of _arriere pensee_ had risen in her mind to cloud her
light heart. And he at that time, with what he saw now to be his dense
stupidity, had believed that she was beginning to like him, that she was
even on the way to get to care for him in time if he managed with great
tact and did not annoy Percy nor seem wanting in deference for him, and
above all if he did not give it away about Mary's jealousy. He always
knew that if Bertha once learnt that, it would be fatal to his hopes.
She was never to know it.
* * * * *
And now everything had come out, everything had gone wrong in the most
horrible, hideous way. It had all gone off like young Pickering's
fireworks. When he remembered that dreadful scene at the party it made
him shudder. How hopelessly stupid he had been to persuade her to come!
How could he have been so idiotic? Looking at Rupert reminded him of the
delightful little meetings and talks he had had with Bertha about him
and Madeline. How charmingly grateful and delighted she had been at his
offering to help her and smooth away the difficulties by diplomacy. And
this was how he had done it! Madeline was now engaged to nobody.
Bertha knew all about the jealousy and had been exposed to insults. And
Percy knew even more about it than she did. Talk of diplomacy! Nigel
must have been indeed a poor diplomatist, since, without having ever
done the slightest harm or indeed really said a word of love to Bertha,
he had yet brought her husband down upon him, forbidding him the house
and sending him to the devil. That was diplomacy, wasn't it? and as to
success, she regarded him with indifference bordering on aversion and
was clearly madly in love with that dull uninteresting Percy. All (Nigel
admitted), all his own stupidity. Whether or not wickedness is punished
in another world, there can be no doubt that stupidity and folly is most
decidedly punished in this.
But then, could he help it that Mary went behind his back and wrote the
most dreadful letters, that she had this terrible mania for writing
letters? But if he had been so very clever and diplomatic he would
somehow or another have prevented it. Oh yes, there was no doubt he was
a fool, and he had without doubt been made supremely ridiculous. He was
well aware that he was ridiculous.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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