He also gave me a large envelope containing more recent letters and reports to be arranged in chronological order, with dockets on the more important ones for the purpose of the memoirs. “Return me these to-morrow or the day after,” he said; and I promised to bring them back on Thursday. We then went into the other study, and I said that even now I could not bring myself to realise that he was retiring; it seemed to me utterly impossible. He: “Impossible? It is now a fact. Things have gone more rapidly than I imagined they would. I thought he would be thankful if I were to remain with him for a few years, but I find that, on the contrary, he is simply longing with his whole heart to be rid of me in order that he may govern alone--with his own genius--and be able to cover himself with glory. He does not want the old mentor any longer, but only docile tools. But I cannot make genuflexions (Ich aber kann nicht mit Proskynesis dienen), nor crouch under the table like a dog. He wants to break with Russia, and yet he has not the courage to demand the increase of the army from the Liberals in the Reichstag. I have succeeded in winning their confidence at St. Petersburg, and obtain proofs of it every day. Their Emperor is guided by my wishes in what he does and in what he refrains from doing. What will they think there now? And also other expectations which I cannot fulfil, together with the intrigues of Courtiers, rudeness and spying, watching with whom I hold intercourse! My retirement is certain. I cannot tack on as a tail to my career the failures of arbitrary and inexperienced self-conceit for which I should be responsible.” I: “When he falls into distress and difficulty he will himself come and fetch you back, Serene Highness! He will have to beg and implore you.”