Farrar had not finished bowing and kissing her hands before the next
curtain when the door of the box opened once more and Mr. Osborne
entered. After a few words with Madame Zattiany he went out and returned
almost immediately with three other men, two of his own generation, and a
tall, dark, extremely good-looking young man, whose easy negligent air
was set askew by the eager expression of his eyes. Clavering, not
waiting to be introduced, fled to the smoking-room and took a seat in a
corner with his back to the other occupants lest some one recognize and
speak to him. A hideous fear had invaded his soul. If this world, so
indisputably her own, did accept her--as he had not a doubt it would if
she demanded it; he made light of Dinwiddie's fears, knowing her as he
did--where would he come in? Sheer luck, supplemented by his own
initiative, had given him a clear field for a few weeks, but what chance
would he have, not only if her house were overrun with people, but if she
were pursued by men with so much more to offer, with whom she must have
so much more in common? He might be the equal of the best of them in
blood and the superior of many, but his life had not been of the order to
equip him with those minor but essential and armorial arts, that assured
ease and distinction, possessed by men not only born into the best
society but bred in it, and who had lived on their background, not on
their nerves. To be "born" is not enough. It is long association that
counts, and the "air" may be acquired by men of inferior birth but the
supreme opportunity. He had managed to interest her because he had no
rival, and he was young and his mind in tune with hers. That alone, no
doubt, was the secret of her imaginative flight in his direction. For
the first time in his life he felt a sense of inferiority, and for the
moment he made no attempt to shake it off. He was in the depths of
despair. He did not even light a cigarette. . . . He could hear a group
of young men discussing her . . . as one of their own kind . . . with no
lack of respect . . . some new friend of Mrs. Oglethorpe's--they were too
young to remember Mary Ogden. . . . She would have many "knights" on the
morrow . . . he felt on the far side of a rapidly widening gulf . . . and
he had once sought to dig a gulf! Disapproved! Questioned! Tried to
forget her! He wished he had abducted her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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