The days went on, as time travels in sickness and in health, and there
was little change in Mrs. Carruthers, and little hope at Poynings. The
fever had been pronounced not infectious, and Clare had not been
banished to the Sycamores. No fresh alarm had arisen to agitate her,
no news of the suspected man had been obtained. The matter had
apparently been consigned to oblivion. With the subsidence of her
first terror and agitation, a deeper horror and dread had grown upon
Clare. Supposing, as it seemed, that he was safe now, Paul Ward was
still a guilty wretch, a creature to be shunned by the pure, even in
thought. And the more she felt this, and thought of it, the more
frankly Clare confessed to her own heart that she had loved him, that
she had set him up, with so little knowledge of him after their chance
meeting, as an idol in the shrine of her girlish fancy--an idol
defaced and overthrown now, a shrine for ever denied and desecrated.
She was glad to think she had warned him; she wondered how much that
warning had contributed to his security. She strove hard to banish the
remembrance of him in all but its true aspect of abhorrence, but she
did not always succeed; and, in the innocent girl's dreams, the smile,
the voice, the frank kindly words would often come again, and make her
waking to the jarring gladness of the morning terrible. A shadow fell
upon her beauty, the gleeful tone died out of her voice; the change of
an indelible sorrow passed upon the girl, but passed unnoticed by
herself or any other.
The days went on, as time travels in sorrow and in joy; and at length
a change came in Mrs. Carruthers, and there was hope at Poynings. Not
hope, indeed, that she could ever be again as she had been, beautiful
and stately in her serene and honoured matronhood, in her bright
intelligence and dignity. That was not to be. She recovered; that is,
she did not die, but she died to much of the past. She was an old
woman from thenceforth, and all her beauty, save the immortal beauty
of form, had left her very quiet, very patient and gentle, but of
feeble nerves, and with little memory for the past, and little
attention or interest in the present; she was the merest wreck of what
she had been. Her faithful old servant was not so much distressed by
the change as were her husband and Clare. She had her own reasons for
thinking it better that it should be so. For many days after
convalescence had been declared, she had watched and waited, sick with
apprehension for some sign of recollection on the part of the patient,
but none came, and the old woman, while she grieved with exceeding
bitterness over the wreck of all she so dearly loved, thanked God in
her heart that even thus relief had come. None had come otherwise.
George Dallas had made no sign.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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