felt it so much while they were very poor, while all their schemes and
shifts were on a small scale, while his every-day comforts depended on
her active management and unfailing forethought. But now, when he had
played for a great stake and won it, when a larger career was open
before him--a career from which he felt she would shrink, and into
which he could never hope to force her--he grew desperately afraid of
Harriet. Desperately tired of her also. He was a clever man, but she
was cleverer than he. He was a man of strong passions, ungovernable,
save by the master-passion, interest. She had but one, love; but it
was stronger than all his put together, and told to do their worst,
and his shallow nature shrank from the unknown depths of hers. She
loved him so entirely that there had never been a question of rule
between them; but Routh was a wise man in his way, and he knew in his
heart he could rule Harriet only by love, and love which was perfectly
genuine and true, should the time ever come in which a distant
separation of opinion and will between them should make it necessary
for him to try. But he had a clear appreciation of his wife's
intellect also, and he knew thoroughly well that he could not deceive
her with any counterfeit presentment--the love which should rule her
must be real. This was precisely what he had not to produce when
required. He had loved her after his fashion for so long that he was
rather surprised by his own constancy: but it would have been
difficult for Stewart Routh to go on loving any one but himself
always, and Harriet was so much superior to him in strength, firmness,
and disinterestedness, that her very superiority was an element of
destruction for the love of such a man as he.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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