"Absurd!" he cried. "You are talking nonsense, and you know it. Did
you not intend me to understand that I should find you alone? Did your
note, your summons (I tore it up, but you remember the words as well
as I do), mean anything else? Do you not know this is all folly? There
is no need to play with _me_. I am a sure prize or victim, which you
please; you know that well enough, and I must know which you _do_
please, for this is, as I said before, a crisis for me. Which is it?"
he said, and he held her hands more tightly, and looked at her with a
pale face. "Which is it? Mere coquetry--a dangerous game with a man
like me I warn you--a game you won't find it possible to play; or--or
the deep, deep love of a lifetime--the devotion which will never
swerve or falter--the passion which will blot out from your knowledge
or your fears everything beyond itself."
Weak, imaginative, without principle, easily ruled by strength, though
a despot to weakness, the woman he addressed listened to him like one
in a dream. Not until afterwards did a sense of being tricked and
trapped come to her. Had her demeanour towards Routh really implied
all this! Had she yielded to the rapacity for admiration, to the
thirst for conquest, which had always dominated in her nature, once
too often, and far too completely? This was precisely what she had
done, and she had fallen into the hands of a stronger being than
herself. In a blind, vague, groping kind of way she felt this, and
felt that she could not help or deliver herself, and felt it with
something like fear, even while her imagination and her vanity were
intoxicated by the mingling of defiance and pleading in his words, in
his tones, and in his looks.
"You and I," he went on, "would say to others, would say to each other
in some of our moods, or would have said when first we met, that no
such thing as this all-sufficing love exists, but each of us knows
well that it does, and may and _shall_ be ours! This is what _I_ mean.
Again I ask you, what is _your_ meaning in all this?"
"I don't know," she replied, releasing her hands, and rising. He
allowed her to pass him, and to walk to the fireplace. She stood
there, her radiant figure glittering in the lustre of the fire and the
wax-lights. She stood there, her head bent, her hands before her, the
fingers interlaced. After a minute, Routh followed her, and stood
before her.
"Then you will not answer me--you will not tell me what your meaning
was in sending for me to-night?"
There was tenderness in his tone now, and the slight inflection of a
sense of injury which rarely fails with a woman.
"Yes," she said, looking up full at him, "I will tell you. I wanted to
let you know that I think of going away."
"Going away!" cried Routh, in unbounded amazement--"Going away! What
do you mean?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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