had promised to bring him a sum of money, representing his own
interest in the mining company, which sum was to secure to Routh the
position he had striven hard to attain, and rescue him from the
consequences of a fraudulent transfer of shares which he had already
effected. It had come to a question of hours, and the impatience and
suspense had almost worn out Routh's strong nerves, almost deprived
him of his self-command. How well he remembered it; how he lived
through all that time again! It had never been so vivid in his
remembrance, with all the vitality of hate and anger, often as he had
thought of it, as it was to-day.
The heartless trifling, the petty insolence of the rich rascal, who
little guessed the strength and resolution, the daring and
desperation, of the greater, if worse, villain, came back as freshly
to Stewart Routh's vindictive memory as if he had not had his ghastly
revenge and his miserable triumph months ago, as if he had suffered
and winced under them but yesterday. And that yesterday! What a
glorious day in his life it had been! Presently he would think about
that, and nothing but that; but now he must pursue his task of memory
to the end. For he was not his own master in this. Once set to
thinking of it, to living it all over again, he had no power to
abridge the history.
He had to remember the hours during which he had waited for Deane's
coming, for the payment of the promised money; he had to remember how
they waned, and left him sick with disappointment, maddened with
apprehension; how he had determined he would keep the second
appointment with Deane: he did not fear his failing in that, because
it was for his own pleasure; and then, for the first time in his life,
had felt physically unable to endure suspense, to keep up appearances.
He had to remember how he had shrunk from the coarse insolence with
which he knew Deane would sport with his fears and his suspense in the
presence of George Dallas, unconscious of their mutual position; how
all-important it was that, until he had wrung from Deane the promised
money, he should keep his temper. He had to remember how the idea that
the man who had so far broken faith with him already, and might break
faith with him altogether, and so ruin him utterly (for if he had
failed then, and been detected, hope would have been at an end for
him), was within a few yards of him, perhaps with the promised money
in his pocket, at that moment, had occurred to him with a strange
fascination. How it had intensified his hatred of Deane; how it had
deepened his sense of his own degradation; how it had made him rebel
against and curse his own poverty, and filled his heart with
malediction on the rich man who owned that money which meant safety
and success to him. He had to remember how Deane had given no answer
to his note, temperately worded and reasonable (Harriet had kept to
the letter of the truth in what she had said of it to George Dallas),
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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