should invest opposite conditions of existence with irresistible
charms; and her habitual associates were so commonplace, so prosperous
and conventional, that her aspirations for opportunities of
hero-worship naturally directed themselves towards oppressed worth,
unappreciated genius, and fiery hearts struggling manfully with
adverse fate. "The red planet Mars" was a great favourite with her,
and to suffer and be strong a much finer idea to her mind than not to
suffer and to have no particular occasion for strength. She knew
little of the realities of life, having never had a deeper grief than
that caused by the death of her mother, and she was in the habit of
reproaching herself very bitterly with the superficiality and the
insufficiency of the sorrow she had experienced on that occasion, and
therefore mild and merciful judges would have pitied and excused her
errors of judgment, her impulsive departure from conventional rules.
Mild and merciful judges are not plentiful commodities, however, and
Mrs. Grundy would doubtless have had a great deal to say, and a very
fair pretext for saying it, had she seen Miss Carruthers strolling
through the fields which lay between the Sycamores and Amherst, in
deep and undisguisedly delighted conversation with a strange young
man, who was apparently absorbed in the pleasure of talking to and
listening to her, while Cæsar trotted now by the side of the one, anon
of the other, with serene and friendly complacency. Mrs. Grundy was,
however, not destined to know anything about the "very suspicious"
circumstance for the present. And George Dallas and Clare Carruthers,
with the unscrupulous yielding to the impulse of the moment, which
affords youth such splendid opportunities for getting into scrapes,
from which the utmost efforts of their elders are powerless to
extricate them, walked and talked and improved the shining hours into
a familiar acquaintance, which the girl would have called friendship,
but which the young man felt, only too surely, was love at first
sight. He had mocked at such an idea, had denied its existence, had
derided it with tongue and pen, but here it was, facing him now,
delivering to him a silent challenge to deny, dispute, or mock at it
any more.
A faint suspicion that the beautiful girl whom he had seen yesterday
for the second time meant something in his life, which no woman had
ever meant before, had hung about him since he had left the Sycamores
after their first interview; but now, as he walked beside her, he felt
that he had entered the enchanted land, that he had passed away from
old things, and the chain of his old life had fallen from him. For
weal or woe, present with her or absent from her, he knew he loved
this girl, the one girl whom it was absolutely forbidden to him to
love.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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