LETTERS TO THE REV. CHARLES FUSTIAN,
AN ANGLO-CATHOLIC.
LETTER FIRST.
You object to being called a Puseyite, or a Tractarian; and as I
believe you never read any of the Tracts, nor were lucky enough to
comprehend any of Dr Pusey's writings, you are right to decline the
names. But it is easy to perceive, even from your outward man, that
some great change has taken place upon you. It is not for nothing that
you wear so very tight a neckcloth, and so very low-collared a coat;
your buttons also are peculiarly placed, and there is a solemnity in
your manner of refusing an invitation to pot-luck on a Friday which
it is edifying to behold. But all this surely must have a name. You
were intended by your father to be a clergyman of the Church of
England--that worthy gentleman toasted church and king, till a female
reign and premonitory symptoms of apoplexy reduced him to silence and
water-gruel; but he is as true a defender of the faith, in his easy
gown and slippers, as ever, and looks with still increasing surprise
at the appearance of his eldest son, as often as occasional help in
your curacy enables you to run home. But don't fancy, for a moment,
that I attribute these frequent visits to your regard for the fifth
commandment alone: no, dear Charles; for though I grant you are an
excellent son and praiseworthy brother, I consider you shine with
still greater lustre in the character of a neighbour, especially to
the family at Hellebore Park. Gradually I have seen a change almost
equal to your own in the seven fair daughters of that house; and it
is very evident that, with this change, in some way or other, you are
very intimately connected. The five daughters of our neighbour in
the Lodge are also very different from what they were; and only Miss
Lathpins--who is fifty years old, and believes good works to be such
filthy rags that she would be quite ashamed if she were seen putting
half-a-crown into the plate, or sending coal and flannel to the poor,
and therefore never does it--continues the even tenor of her way,
and sighs for a gospel ministry to tell her how few will achieve the
kingdom of heaven. Every other house in the parish feels the effects of
your visits. We must have a new almanac if you come among us much more;
for the very days of the week are no longer to be recognised. Tuesday,
instead of being the lineal descendant of Monday, is now known as the
heir presumptive of Wednesday, and does duty as the eve of something
else. The wife of our physician invited us to dinner on the Feast of
St Ollapod, which, after great inquiry, we found meant Monday the 22d.
The months will not long escape--the weeks are already doomed--and, in
a few years, our parish registers will be as difficult reading as the
inscriptions of Nemroud. Have you taken this result of your crusade
against the High and Dry into your consideration? Is it right to leave
a worthy man like our rector--who conducted his little ecclesiastical
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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